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I think this sums it all up: If you seldom smile, don't know how to laugh, or just frown on "that sort of thing" - look elsewhere. If you love to bust a gut laughing at other peoples' misfortunes - look elsewhere. If you only buy used books to level up a table, for kindling, or for general fly and bug swattin'- look elsewhere. If you would never own a (*gasp*) pet - look elsewhere. If you live in one room because you have the rest of your place "just so" - look elsewhere. If you're "born again", "saved", filled with "God's Joy", or have ever sent money to a TV evangelist - look elsewhere. If you believe in your heart that any of: swearing, sex, alcohol, cigarettes, tatoos, piercings, Corvettes, gargoyles, rock and roll, gays, lesbians, long hair, short hair, Howard Stern, Madonna, Harry Potter, or Eric Cartman is most probably the Devil's work - look elsewhere. If more than four parts of your body are no longer entirely what you were born with - look elsewhere. If you think you might, maybe, someday have sex again, but only missionary, and only in bed, and only in the dark, and only late at night, and only with a few drinks first, and only in months without an "R", and only after a few weeks to recover in between "attempts"... or if you've entirly forgotten how - you should probably look elsewhere. If you can trace your blue blood family tree back to the Mayflower and never pass up an opportunity to tell someone about it - you can look elsewhere. If you're convinced that you were put on this earth to point out every little mistake, defect or bad habit you find - keep looking elsewhere. If you've never been to a lawn sale, flea market, or looked twice at that chair the neighbor just threw out, you probably should look elsewhere. If you think you're too old to (fill in the blank!) - keep looking elsewhere. If you've read this far with a smile, maybe chuckled once or twice, and don't "have half a mind to tell this guy what for" - then you may be in the right place, my friend. Drop me a line!