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WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that the Angry White Male may be hazardous to the health of liberals, feminists, Marxists, afrocentrists, new urbanists, post-modern deconstructionalists, multiculturalists, socialists, environmental pseudo-scientists, bureaucrats, Democrats, counter culture brats, affirmative action backers, jury stackers, constitution hackers and any other two-bit leftist misfits that sacrifice truth, reason and freedom in pursuit of culturally homogeneous and egalitarian fantasies. <br> Do you consider yourself: [_] a low maintenance woman [_] a medium maintenance woman [_] a high maintenance woman If medium or high maintenance woman is selected, please answer the following: How much do you spend for hair (per month)_____________ How much do you spend for nails (per month)____________ How much do you spend for tanning (per month)_________ How much do you spend for makeup (per month)_________ It's said that by looking at her car, so shall my living room become. Is this true? [_] Yes [_] No [_] You'll be cleaning my car and the house anyway. Do you replace the cap on the tube of toothpaste when you are finished? [_] Yes [_] No [_] Doesn't apply to me. I'm a crankster. Do you prefer the roll of Toilet Paper to go over the top or hanging behind the roll? [_] over [_] behind [_] Doesn't matter. Do you REALLY care if I drink something "right out of the fridge?" After all, you'll kiss these lips. [_] Yes [_] No [_] It's not the same thing. It's unsanitary. Do you think it's O.K. to use men's razors and then throw them in a pile in a corner of the bathtub? [_] Yes [_] No [_] I don't shave. Anywhere. [_] I'll buy my own. The bathroom is a place to hang up panty hose, bras, dresses, etc. [_] Yes [_] No [_] The bathroom is a place to read. [_] You can have your half, I'll have mine. Will you need 2 or 3 times more closet space than I have? [_] Yes [_] No [_] I'll want ALL of the hallway closet and the spare bedroom closet and any left over cupboards and 3/4 of the master bedroom closet. Let's say you have all the closets. Can I consider the garage as mine? [_] Yes [_] No [_] I'll want to put the stuff left over in "your" garage, smartass. We're having a garage sale. Will you finally sell stuff that's been collecting dust for three years? [_] Yes [_] No [_] Don't even THINK about it. If we can't decide where to plant the trees/rearrange the furniture, will you flip a coin? [_] Yes [_] No [_] I'll ALWAYS have better taste than YOU. You can keep "your side" of the bedroom any way you want, as long as I get the same privilege. [_] Yes [_] No [_] Well, we'll see. All women want to change all men, anyway. If anyone invites us anywhere, we should discuss it first, BEFORE either one makes a commitment. [_] Yes [_] No [_] You'll go where you're told. I'll promise to keep myself in shape as long as you will promise. [_] Yes [_] No [_] You should love the person inside, that's all that matters. If you ask "does this (outfit) (hair) (makeup) look stupid" and I tell you the truth, will you be mad? [_] Yes [_] No [_] You'd better lie to me about this, you bastard. Will you ever deliberately forget to take your birth control pills / use birth control? [_] Yes [_] No [_] How could you say such a thing? If I love you, I'd never deceive you. Will you expect me to open doors for you and will you lash out at me if I forget? [_] Yes [_] No [_] It's O.K. If you remember once-in-a-while, that will be enough. If I send you flowers on occasion, to your work, so others can see them, will you send me flowers? [_] Yes [_] No [_] You do this for me, you're a man worth having. I'd be willing to take care of your car for you. Will you get out there and get dirty with me? [_] Yes [_] No [_] Not with my (nails)(hair)(makeup) I won't. Forget you. We're saving up to buy a boat. You see a diamond tennis bracelet that you MUST have. Do you buy it? [_] Y