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My world is big -- some would say larger than life. My mind is voracious and agile, delighting those around me, while my body is a symphony of movement, balance and effortless grace. I journey far and wide, always encountering grateful people whose lives I saved during my earlier adventures. I am frequently knighted and given honorary degrees. My personal effects have been deposited on Mars by the Spirit rover, along with a plaque commemorating my achievements. I wear black and move in a mysterious shadow world of espionage and intrigue. I sculpt marble figures of surpassing angst, and my paintings adorn the walls of kings and Bono. My personal staff of hundreds reveres me and I am godfather to most of their offspring. I have counseled Nobel laureates, solved the riddles of sphinxes, and roadied for Spinal Tap. My frittata recipes are world-reknowned. My lovemaking has inspired both delicate haikus and epic Norse myth-poems. I never use el...

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