100% free online dating, chat, forums, and friends...

I've decided that I'd like to be in a relationship again. A relationship is a wonderful thing. Everybody should be in one unless he has a good reason not to, such as that he is the Pope. Getting into a good relationship isn't easy though - and his is strange when you think about it. Yet, here WE are, the most sophisticated species on Earth, and we have less savvy, in terms of our relationships, than invertebrates. We have to WORK at getting into a relationship - the other species don't have to work at it! Hell, they don't even have to THINK about it! Now, not being a person who drinks, a bar is pretty much useless to me. I always feel awkward there anyway. I SHOULDN'T - that's what other guys came for - to meet a guy like me, only smarter and more attractive. But, I'm gonna try the computer personals - it's easier to talk and you can read the ad and if you're not interested, you just don't answer my ad. SO, here I go: "GWM, 35, 5'9, Caucasian, husky build, brown hair and eyes (usually wear glasses), masculine/ 'straight-acting', seeks a GWM, GHM, GAM, GBM or single male of any species. Must be under 40, masculine/'straight -acting', around an average build, at least, and have a decent sense of humor. I like sleeping spoon-style, rides in my convertible and walks along the beach (all personal ads contain this line - I think it's required. Not because anybody really WANTS to walk along the beach, but they want to prove that they're romantic. The beaches of America are teeming with couples who met because of personal ads, staggering along, sweating and picking sea- urchin spines out of their feet because they're afraid to reveal to each other that they'd rather be watching a rental movie). Also, please read what I'm looking for - I hate getting answers from people that, apparently, didn't even READ my ad, they just answered an ad at random. Instead of the guy I was after, I get this old, overweight guy (named something like "Phil"), that just got out of prison after serving a sentence for a murder he committed when he became a drug addict because of the guilt he felt when his boyfriend died in a freak submarine accident while Phil was having an affair with a priest, but now he's all straightened out and has a good job as a trapeze artist and is almost through with the surgical part of his sex change operation. Of course, the guys I usually find attractive are either not online yet, horribly straight, married to someone else or in prison (I think thugs are really cute, for some reason). I also know that I'd want someone that, at least, shared some of the same interests ( I like sci-fi, I'm a fan - not a fanATIC, I also collect toys and write and make films). Now, I can understand if we have a FEW differences, but nothing TOO drastic. I mean, I really don't care for fishing, but I could do it every so often. However, I would NOT want to get together with someone that was really gung-ho on fishing and would want me to spend countless intimate hours with him talking bait and going on long fishing trips to secluded areas where we will find time to be alone together, hour after hour, day after day, on some scum-encrusted, mosquito-infested pier, totally alone, until finally I disembowel him with a scaling knife. I even broke down and read books on Astrology (which comes from the Greek or possibly Latin words "astro" and "ology", so right away we can see that it is very scientific). All these books tell me that a Taurus (the person, not the car) and a Virgo (me) are supposed to be "the MOST PERFECT COUPLE IN THE ZODIAC". That's all nice and well, but I have a hard enough time talking to cute guys without asking them what their sign is! ANYWAY, I'm probably gonna let this ad sit as it is and if you think you might be interested - drop me a line and let's see what happens.