What happened to manners?
Tanfixer (this topic's creator)11/27/2007 1:40:12 PM
Posts: 4
Member since 5/6/2007
( new topic )
Tanfixer (this topic's creator)11/27/2007 1:44:03 PM
Posts: 4
Member since 5/6/2007
When I grew up, I was taught that if someone went to the trouble to write you, it was proper to send a reply. Even if the reply was in the negative. Seems that most people on this site do not remember the manners they were taught as a child. Or; could it be they were never taught? If someone sends a contact to you, a short reply tales only a few seconds. At the very least it tells them you are not interested.
tck_beachbum 11/27/2007 2:34:37 PM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
Some us grow with the times.
When someone writes you and you are not interested, don't bother to reply. They'll get the message. If we took the time to reply to every person that writes we'd never get anything done, and.... the person would keep on writing, expecting a reply every time.
New world, new ways of communication. Nothing to do with manners, really.
constellation 11/27/2007 2:40:08 PM
Posts: 12
Member since 12/25/2004
It is more about instincts, I never reply if I'm not interested, ad I think I'm doing a favour too, not creating false illusions, so I agree with Tck.
LanaFire7 11/27/2007 3:03:59 PM
Posts: 1
Member since 11/27/2007 2:40:24 PM
As a woman, I tried replying even if wasn't interested, saying something nice & neutral like he lived too far, or repeated that wasn't looking for a man with children, etc. They would keep writing, ARGUING with me to take a chance, that I'm being too limited, etc., basically saying I don't deserve my own opinion & should do whatever they say. As TCK said, he's right, there was so much email I couldn't keep up even with the ones that had profiles I liked & sounded good in emails.
Hoarse 11/27/2007 3:34:02 PM
Posts: 514
Member since 8/30/2003
Had the same experiences, with some of the e-mailers crossing the line of so called cyber-stalking. A lot of lonely people out there with obvious rejection issues. I stopped replying, even before I got married. Even so, we both still get the e-mails. Not certain if they don't bother reading the status, or they just don't care. Now, I don't even open them up; just toss them in the trash.
Hell, I'm not that sociable. My manners are so bad, I won't even put anyone on a friends list. *l*
tck_beachbum 11/27/2007 3:49:12 PM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
Lanafire,
It appears to me from your post that you might be limiting yourself too much, that you should perhaps question the process of relying on your own opinion in these matters, unless the opinion is truly deserved, and maybe tend to be a bit more receptive to the suggestions of others.
constellation 11/27/2007 4:39:12 PM
Posts: 12
Member since 12/25/2004
AAA, I will hire a secretary to answer that I'm not interested, grins
MikePowers 11/27/2007 5:51:18 PM
Posts: 262
Member since 11/21/2007 4:31:02 PM
^^^God this guy's so damn UGLY!!
change your pic moron!!!
(see! manners have changed!! LOL)
Tanfixer (this topic's creator)11/28/2007 1:13:17 AM
Posts: 4
Member since 5/6/2007
While the original post was nothing more than an effort to generate replies( which is after all; the reason these type posts are called forums), I must have hit upon a sore subject. Manners reflect the basic moral teachings acquired during your formative years. I sincerely thank those of you who replied for your thoughts one this subject. And to Mr. Powers, your post definitely reflects your moral and social immaturity. Remember, I can change my appearance, you will always be stupid.
Rollo_Quarters 11/28/2007 7:28:22 PM
Posts: 2365
Member since 9/29/1999
Actually I thought he was referring to Constellation, but the arrowheads actually point to his own pic.
In which case I think that line "flatlined". LOL
Starfire58 11/28/2007 8:01:17 PM
Posts: 3857
Member since 1/27/2003
Tan I think it was aimed at Constellation. That being said, I don't always reply to the emails I get.
I just gave up telling people *that read my profile* I was not on the market. I am here to see the people I have met here over the years. I have even gotten very nasty responses back. It wears you down to try to get through to some of these people. So you give up...
Lisa4631 11/28/2007 8:02:24 PM
Posts: 546
Member since 11/7/2007 4:12:35 PM
LOL Rollo & Tan - actually Tan are you paraphrasing a W.C. Fields movie? He to wife: "I may be drunk, but you're stupid. And tomorrow, I'll be sober, but you'll STILL be stupid!"
hee hee and Note to boneheads who send me ridiculous emails, such as those with subject lines like "Hi Linda" (my screen name should give a tiny clue as to the moniker I prefer), emails entirely in German (?!?), or Friend Requests (mentioned right in my self-description): If you can't bother to read, I won't be bothering to reply.
Otherwise, I try to at least thank and wish well those who send me a greeting.
Michael_White 11/29/2007 8:34:45 AM
Posts: 1832
Member since 3/16/2006
Welcome Tanfixer,
you'll soon discover mingles and our beloved feuds and drama thriving!!
Hope you'll keep your maturity! *l*
*with love* Mike Powers
PS: Actualyy the "^^" refer to the post just above but in this case they were referring to MY own pic as roller said. *l*
Michael_White 11/29/2007 8:35:55 AM
Posts: 1832
Member since 3/16/2006
AWWW damn!!! wrong profile!!
(I should have checked with Sargon before I logged in)
LMAO
Rollo_Quarters 11/30/2007 7:22:35 PM
Posts: 2365
Member since 9/29/1999
OK... so is it pronounced Leeesa or Lyesssssa? We went through a tough time with the Minelli broad over this. LOL
Regardless.... welcome. Please take time to read ALL the forums, visit chat on a regular basis and thank GOD every night that this isn't real!
For safety reasons I will notify you before I scheduled my trip to visit my cousin in Schaumberg. Fair? 
january54 12/2/2007 7:40:09 PM
Posts: 21
Member since 12/1/2007 9:16:22 PM
Tanfixer
I agree with you, and don't be discouraged as I experience manners each and every day from surprising sources. I don't worry about what others do or don't do, but then I was raised not to be a Sheep.
shilo7 12/2/2007 8:18:06 PM
Posts: 128
Member since 10/28/2004
I'm in the same boat as those that posted about not replying. I've tried the manner thing, and guess what? some peeps just don't give up and it gets old. As Hoarse put it,"rejection issues". Now chat is a different story.
tck_beachbum 12/2/2007 8:27:57 PM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
Tanfixer and January are both new to the game.
Although I don't believe either will be flooded with emails to the extent that some of the young, attractive, sexy (no offense intended) pic profiles are, they'll soon have their own fill of undesired communications.
Time will tell. Manners are one thing, time to reply to all who write is another thing.
ManhattanBabe 12/2/2007 8:44:12 PM
Posts: 2901
Member since 2/19/2004
I think its your own personal choice if you write back. I always write everyone back, and if not interested wish them good luck on there search. Then there have been a few who dont get the hint,or write me some filthy trash, then i block them, thats my choice too,lol
january54 12/4/2007 5:49:23 PM
Posts: 21
Member since 12/1/2007 9:16:22 PM
tck_beachbum
You are mistaken, I do get letters at another site from many a young man, and it is kinda a pain, but heres the rub apparently I know how to deflect these advances in a manner true to my persona, and don't have many problems. one or two have used lets exchange ideas etc. and when i send ho hum they soon leave me alone.
H_W 12/4/2007 6:20:38 PM
Posts: 2092
Member since 1/20/2001
I'm reasonably certain that he didn't mean to imply that either of you were "old, unattractive, and unsexy".
Over time, you will see that his manners are impeccable. *l*
Welcome to Mingles.
tck_beachbum 12/4/2007 6:37:23 PM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
Nope, no implications or offense intended, Jan or Tax.
I'm glad to hear that I am 'mistaken' and you get emails from many a young man.
Just sayin' that over time if you start getting countless emails from Russian people and other far-off foreigners I'll be surprised if you take the time to write them all back. Bless you if you do.
(I've been wrong before, I'll surely be wrong again, only time will tell, lol.)
H_W 12/4/2007 6:59:45 PM
Posts: 2092
Member since 1/20/2001
See? I told you. That's the humble and gracious tck_beachbum we all know and love. Good show!
Michael_White 12/4/2007 7:40:33 PM
Posts: 1832
Member since 3/16/2006
hahahahhahahahahahahahahahha
what do they call this? Impress the newbie? *l*
january54 12/4/2007 9:26:33 PM
Posts: 21
Member since 12/1/2007 9:16:22 PM
Well H_W and tck I do like the "up front" opinions and did not take them as personal or derogatory.
Michael_White 12/5/2007 3:23:16 PM
Posts: 1832
Member since 3/16/2006
My Own Private Idaho....... great piece of work!
january54 12/5/2007 5:25:49 PM
Posts: 21
Member since 12/1/2007 9:16:22 PM
I have no clue what you mean Michael??
Nice pictures!
Michael_White 12/5/2007 5:28:04 PM
Posts: 1832
Member since 3/16/2006
why thanks
It's a movie by Gus Van Sant starring Keanu Reeves.. real good... should watch it some time
january54 12/5/2007 7:51:22 PM
Posts: 21
Member since 12/1/2007 9:16:22 PM
^^^^^^
I think I have seen that a long time ago??
Anyway living here has got its perks, like sunshine most every day, driving in the mountains and not see another soul for miles and miles, and when you do they smile and wave. Just the majesty along fills my soul. Gods Great Piece of Work!
Lisa4631 12/12/2007 4:16:28 PM
Posts: 546
Member since 11/7/2007 4:12:35 PM
Hi Rollo, please beckon using the traditional pronunciation (Leeesa).
Thank you. There is no way I can read ALL the forums, but I try to visit chat on a regular basis and am quickly learning how real this isn't! lol
You go on ahead and let me know about your Schaumburg trip, although most likely I'll be staying put right here in N'ville. Ginormous indoor malls (e.g. Woodfield) make me break out in hives. hee hee
And Tan, an update: I am beginning to understand and concur with Shilo's and ManhattanBabe's described procedures (RE the rejection issues & blocking). Also I think I'm going to add "No replies to winks" to my profile description also, as I think maybe some of these goons just send out hundreds of winks in one drunken horny night and if they don't get a response, they won't remember who is not responding and therefore cannot bug me to death.
Thus ends the run-on sentence from hell.
H_W 12/12/2007 4:38:37 PM
Posts: 2092
Member since 1/20/2001
Most of my family was from the area, N'ville, Oswego, St Charles, Batavia, and of course, sweet home Chicago.
I ran away at a young age upon finding out they were all Bears fans. *l*
tck_beachbum 12/12/2007 4:48:44 PM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
Is there any way to turn off that 'wink' feature?
If I wanted a harem of Russian women I'd fly over and buy one, lol.
Michael_White 12/12/2007 4:59:16 PM
Posts: 1832
Member since 3/16/2006
"If I wanted a harem of Russian women I'd fly over and buy one, lol"
We are really lucky to have such an intelligent man as tck_beachbum. *l*
Lisa4631 12/12/2007 5:16:09 PM
Posts: 546
Member since 11/7/2007 4:12:35 PM
H_W, it's uncanny. I just moved here (to N'ville) this spring from Geneva, AND I'm a Bears fan. But don't worry - there are worse things, like being a Sox fan. lol
And Michael, not that it's any of my business, but it sure does seem like you hang on tck's every word... what do you do, go to his profile 5 times per day, reviewing then commenting upon his every post? Let it go, man.
tck_beachbum 12/12/2007 5:17:14 PM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
If I had good manners would I answer this message?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hello the stranger!
My name Alena, I live in Russia. I long time could not find my
satellite in a life and I have decided to try to find through the
Internet. I have seen your structure and have decided to write to you.
You seem to me nice and I would like to have correspondence with you
all over again. You can look my structure.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And should I look her structure?
H_W 12/12/2007 5:20:50 PM
Posts: 2092
Member since 1/20/2001
We'll if it was Lake Geneva, you would be Packers fan and an official Cheesehead. *l*
UglyPoet 12/13/2007 2:32:23 AM
Posts: 58
Member since 11/14/2000
I am the type who politly says something back, i guess its my old fashioned country up bringing to be polite even to jerks. However i get few emails so i have less to worry about. But i think kindness breeds kindness, so i do my best to pass it on as much as i can. Also i have been when growing up, the ugly kid and such so i know what it feels like to be put down continually. As far as blocking and that goes, yes that is one thing a person can do and its there for that reason. I say use it if they do not get your polite message then you do not have to worry about it again.
LISA.... lucky for me i meet ya in chat first before my wink, and that you had not started deleting winks ... Talk about a lucky day...
Lisa4631 12/13/2007 3:06:59 PM
Posts: 546
Member since 11/7/2007 4:12:35 PM
H_W, Thank you for pointing out yet another blessing I can be thankful for!
tee hee Actually I root for the Bears but it's hard to dislike a quality team like the Packers, all the same. (shhh don't tell anybody in Illinois I said that)
And Ug, I hear you've been about doing quite a bit of wink whorin' - See you in the chats!
UglyPoet 12/13/2007 3:23:05 PM
Posts: 58
Member since 11/14/2000
hey winking is just winking, yes i have .... mostly to those i once talked to .... but i save my emails for the ones id really like to talk to.
UglyPoet 12/13/2007 4:14:28 PM
Posts: 58
Member since 11/14/2000
and now my winking is complete lol....
Appaloosa51 1/10/2008 11:25:34 PM
Posts: 82
Member since 1/10/2008 10:40:17 PM
Believe me .... when it comes to a woman ... they will do what they want to do ... this is how you know them ... when they do do something it is because they want to do it .... when they dont does not mean the most horrible thingy but sometimes it is ... when they dont it only means they are NOT in the MOOD .... HAIL PASSION FIRE !!!!
earthlady 8/12/2009 4:36:18 AM
Posts: 15
Member since 8/5/2009 5:26:48 AM
Hey manners maketh the man (or woman) so what are you?
Prairiesmiles 8/12/2009 11:55:32 PM
Posts: 1
Member since 5/31/2009 11:13:17 PM
I try to drop a quick line to most who email. I used to try to answer everyone, but now it seems silly when they 'like my profile', but obviously didn't read it.
Over the last ten years I have found the courtesy has disappeared, but.. so has most of the real looking. Mostly fluff and friendships now.I admit to becoming rude too. I used to answer winks. Now if they email, it starts with real conversation. I haven't really figured out why winks were invented. If a person is interested, then lay words down and say Hi. Manners have just changed. Sort of like technology. Some good changes. Some not so good.
mlady_pamela 8/13/2009 3:07:28 AM
Posts: 911
Member since 1/21/2009 10:15:58 PM
Been there and done it all!
After wasting my time opening up and wasting my time on pathetic emails and being hounded to death because I replied with a not interested but good luck in the search and the many emails that are proposals and guarantees that I will fall in love if I would just give them a chance - even though we have never spoke not to mention the unlimited scamming emails - I now delete emails without reading them that have that appearance. I find it is them that are being rude for sending me crap like that. I don't delete emails from people I reckognize from chat or from the forums or from some who have enough sense to use my name in the subject line with something that catches my attention that seems appropriate. But the copy and paste ones dont even get a second of my time becasue they never spent a second of their time writing to me - pasting the same crap paragraph out to EVERYONE doesn't deserve a response from me. And as for the winks... I don't understand what the purpose of those are except from friends who are droppin in to say a quick hi to me to let me know they are still alive and kickin around with the need to write anything which I appreciate. But winks from strangers are not even noticed as I click delete.
hilda741 8/13/2009 3:53:03 AM
Posts: 1
Member since 8/12/2009 10:19:58 AM
lol
Girle_Rose2 8/13/2009 7:36:50 AM
Posts: 79
Member since 4/1/2009 4:25:09 PM
Here is the thing, why would anyone bother to write back to a "person" who is SO clearly a bot, that you know that if you do, they will respond back while not even remotely answering any questions you have asked OR commenting on the things you have said? I mean, I have manners when it comes to real humans(ok ok, not in chat.. BUT I have to keep up my "rep"
but why use any energy when I am only going to get a computer generated response?
Just my opinion.
WINK!
tck_beachbum 8/13/2009 8:40:56 AM
Posts: 15104
Member since 7/5/2002
When Pamela says, "Been there and done it all!", I get some really nice 'visuals'.
mysticct 8/13/2009 8:54:18 AM
Posts: 461
Member since 5/23/2002
A little common sense must go along with courtesy and good manners. Not replying to winks and emails from obvious scammers is just common sense and not bad manners. The idea behind winks was for a person to let you know they have an interest. No reply is required if you have no return interest. Unsolicited emails need not be responded to. Again a little common sense can be used here. Email programs have block features and or spam filters, use them.
robbi642 8/13/2009 10:10:50 AM
Posts: 12353
Member since 4/6/2000
Prairiesmiles.......good to see you stop by. I too have changed my online habits over the last ten years or so......my delete button gets used alot. But, I do enjoy the emails that keep me in touch with people I've met along the way. Made alot of friends on the computer.....but, met alot of people that "didn't work out" too. Some remain in my life, others have vanished.......Although it seems the net is a cold place......it's all in the attitude you approach it....just like life......
jenzel 8/24/2009 2:01:40 PM
Posts: 2
Member since 8/8/2009 1:00:16 PM
i dont reply emails if i don't like the person...hmmmm!thats all period.
schlomo1 8/24/2009 3:57:05 PM
Posts: 102
Member since 12/31/2004
bots are hot
CaptainCorelli 8/24/2009 4:30:02 PM
Posts: 3521
Member since 2/22/2006
Well you have a point, Schlomo...a bot will never tell you to take out the garbage on a Sunday morning. They're prone to fake orgasms though. Something about a subpar structure.
BROWSE NOW
