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1. Say hello to the wrong name.

2. Write your message in a language other than those specified as spoken by the recipient.

3. Tell the recipient that youd like to add her to your collection.

4. Send your intended a wink or Friend Request, when his/her profile SPECIFICALLY states that he/she will not answer/accept.

Liza, mein Liebchen...! Oui, mon Cheri,

I am to not be having collection any as time present, but much liking to such begin soonest. First you be in stable mine possessed? Much honor be to chosen so, and first! How you say in Engleeez... Ich habe dich Lieb?

Antwort bitte soonest, we can great close friends be now starting.

So you didn't like my former USSR sub-profile?

I thought that was prime green card material!!!!!!!

i know one i know one ....

So wana have sex?

or

Hey my dog is cutier then you...

Or

You look like my x-girlfriend....

I love all the chins in your photo!

I ADORE a woman who has a stomach that sticks out farther than their breasts!

Holy COW - my sister had that VERY same dress (then her husband found work so she gave it to the salvation army)

LOL

How's this to a girl: I have been looking for the man of my dreams and your profile is fits what I am looking for.

Do the reverse for a guy, LOL

Mizpell eviry wurd? gREAT use! of punchtuation; I got great grammer HUH!

Your profile says you're 40, but you claim to be 30...that works well!

Personally, I like the standard "I want to make the cozy home, I cook for the husband, and happy the children"-

....Sorta gives it that loving, "Leave It To Beaver-June Cleaver" kind of feel, doesn't it?

ok i get alot of this type of email all the time

"hi.. yes... i am looking for wife to make mine and take care good of home and children"

talk about skipping a few steps lol

Von, your subservience to the male gender is slipping some. I might suggest you re-evaluate your true position in relation to men.

(I have a feeling I'll pay dearly for that comment in the chat room... but I couldn't resist, lol.)

From: davidlaw to me

Sent: 12/14/2007 1:29:37 PM

Subject: hello

weety am david by name age 40 single i went through ur profile it as said it all. i will love to have a conversation wit u i think u are my kind. am hear for a serious relationship NOT TO play games, I need someone to make the stars to make the rainy days and need someone to make me smile, someone who will me. I need someone who will give me a when I'm feeling down. I need someone who will support me and help me reach the star. I need someone who will care, someone who will share, someone who will always . I need someone who will comfort me, someone who will cheer me on, and hold my hand through nighttime, noon, and dawn. hope to hear from u soon and pls take good care of urself for me cos i care. am online now i will love to chat with u ok so u can add me this is my mail address davidlaw_2sure@yahoo.com hope to hear from u.

---------------------------------------------------------

Wow. That's amazing, Starfire. Clearly he "went through ur profile" thoroughly - that's why he knows you're a great candidate for a serious relationship, and that you're the "...someone who will (him)." Oh boy.

Another one that's hard to pass up tells me he's married and "seeking a discrete, part-time lover relationship, preferably, long term. This would be on a "not-to-interfere-basis" with our primary relationships." Yes, he's discretely seeking a discrete relationship by posting a want-sex ad on the internet, complete with photos of himself.

"seeking a discrete, part-time lover relationship...", isn't that what bars, dance floors, and Saturday nights are for?

Why, yes I do believe they are.

Here - I'll forward his email to you, tck, and YOU reply to him. haha

Awesome...! I'll use your pics and pretend I'm you...!

He'll be sooo-icidal, sooo-icidal.

That works for me!

And thanks hon

I wrote the guy back and told him to actually read the profiles and stop acting so desperate.

Hey, don't ask for me to be kind, I live with Voldergrinch!

PS: Voldergrinch is in a nasty mood because anyone he arrests on the 21st will be able to be seen by a judge on the 24th...

Although one person who thought they got away with something is cooling their heels for a month in county jail! The soonest they can get out is 1/4/08... Poor baby...

hello everyone ; excuse me >>>>>if i ever get to write my own private mail i might like to be a regular speaker ; this letter reply is working like the profiles should ; i want to get to know all of you besides just your pictures ; huba huba ; this is the truth now ive not been able to send a message sence this started ; i wish i could call mingles and talk right to them ; what is really wrong ; its not only me - my son can get through on his computor ; but im a web . cause of my eyes ; he said to send my mail to him and he would send ; look now thats no good ; lol ; reading my jokes and fun ; what a country ;;i want to thank you for the ruse intrance of me but untill i find out the problem this is my only way ;; sorry hugs ;

oooooooo we forgot this one...

"Hi, my name is reloaDD......"

PS: Voldergrinch is in a nasty mood because anyone he arrests on the 21st will be able to be seen by a judge on the 24th...

Although one person who thought they got away with something is cooling their heels for a month in county jail! The soonest they can get out is 1/4/08... Poor baby...

HUH?

Sorry Red, those that know me know Voldergrinch is my hubby. He is Chief of Police in one town and the Police Prosecutor in our town. He enjoys rounding people up over long weekends because the courts tend to be closed for the holidays.

Does that help you?

i am macaaron, a decent man who is caring and loving, faithful,honest, diligent and what every woman want in a man.i really love your profile and i think , i will like to know more about u.I know God is happy whenever he sees a man looking for his life partner.i know miraculously i will fine my heart desire and i hope that it will u.please if u are really interested email at macaaron.dodoo at yahoo dot com.i will make u the queen of my kingdom and i will be the light in your dark place.pleas ei hope to hear from u as soon as possible.bye and take care.

Gees i knew i was the queen of my kingdom, how many kingdoms do i want to rein!!! I have received many from this man. Im waiting to get another crown via fedex soon, hehehehe

"i will be the light in your dark place."

Whoa...!

Hi and thanks for the winc can we start good friendssh.iam 37 years old green eyes live in denmark dont think about the distance if you like travel you can come to denmark i know how to take care of you and to spoile you like qeen and to keep you young i hope realy to meet you if you like to even send you telefon number and let me hear your voice,wishes and kisses i send you on the air.moussa

lol, what with this damn queen stuff, or qeen,

why dont people get that hi im so and so, and how about us chatting, what is with these chain letters that they send out to one and all,lol,

"I'd like to show you MY snake, sexy."

Making a lewd suggestion is no way to introduce yourself, and you're SURE to get no response!

From: k1nkybabe4u to me

Sent: 12/17/2007 10:51:52 AM

Subject: hiHey there Sexy! I'm new to this site and still trying to figure stuff out..Anyways I thought this was maybe a more "adult" site...Right now thats what I'm looking into when doing the whole online social network stuff...I have a healthy sex drive and not afraid to have some fun and take some risks!! LOL...I do have a profile on localfreeadultmatch.com with the same username if you wanna check out my pics...maybe you even wanna cam chat or something?? Anyways shoot me a message there if you like what you see...I'm headed off this site but wanted to at least contact you and let you know I am interested ..MWAH!!

- - - - - - - - -

Very sophisitcated and lady-like.

Geeeeeeeeeez

LOL i just got that same one today but from a diffrent name tck, talk about crap lol...

So you say out loud, t, but we all know you're on that site right now chasin' her down!

tck: "You had me at 'k1nkybabe4u.'"

Ai'ght... now that we've discussed the things not to be done, How about the things that should be done?

Vontoria:

ok i get alot of this type of email all the time :: "hi.. yes... i am looking for wife to make mine and take care good of home and children"

talk about skipping a few steps lol

Vontoria: Have you seen the delicious pictures you've posted lately of yourself? Can you blame us for acting fast? :P

hello my dear....

how is life treating u hope u are doing great.....well it been nice to hear from u again....my dear if u dont mine can we chat to know more about each other....this my yahoo id if only u are interested pabalenyo@.............yahoo.....................com.....hope to hear from u again........xxxxxxxxxx

How about:

"I notta gud spella...But I wunt 2 meat u "

"Can I guess your weight?"

In reality, I must be really bad at emails...I don't get many responses from my emails...so I think I have it down as an art form.

the use of "yoda speak" is always a way to get the other person to either laff or shine u on, if u wont stand for that, will ya stoop for this....if your areola is bigger than a cowboys belt buckle........send me an email.i'd love to see a pic

teek -

I know my position in relation to men babe.... no worries there... in fact i think its posted somewhere in the forum lol

Apathy -

I have new pics?! No way!.... i better go check them out... make sure i'm dressed lol

oh heres another email lol

Subject: Hi Sweetie

I am vivacious and outgoing, I like to bring happiness and joys to my friends. I am romantic, caring and affectionate both in my inner world and outside world. I was educated with ,. I put family and my wife to be in the first place in my life. Friends describe me as being attractive and charming. However, I am a single. How I wish to have a nice woman, who loves me with all her heart. I don't care where she comes from. I will be grateful if God brings us together. I hope she is sincere, honest and trustworthy, I will be waiting for her right here. I will also give her all my love. I'd like to establish and develop a beautiful relationship with her. money doesnt buy love.all is understanding

Hope she is confident, romantic, and has a good sense of humor. Also hope she is healthy, outgoing, financially secured, and share humor with me.Most importantly, just like me.

regards

terry.

now lets all get together and wish this guy luck finding 'her' lol

For the most part,

You know a profile is a fake or just some bullshitter if it sounds too poetic. :P

how are you doing today baby?

i was searching though the site which i saw your amazing pics here and i stop to say hi to you cos i just let you walk aways from me all for better of us.

well check out my id (willton4real@yahoo.com

am william by the name.

Huh?

Geesh Jo hun, looks like William wants to show you his "Willy"!!! LOL How you doing doll??

Nutty thinks she should read FORUMS more often * tongue into cheek*

darn scary.. lol

Im doin' great notsoshy! I remember when you were shyfarmboy.. lol..hope you are doin' great too.

"I'd like to show you MY snake, sexy." lol

Gotta watch out for that, especially if the woman has Snakes (for pets).

Net dating at its mad best ;-)

Indeed - Consistently shocking!

That person sent me that message presumably in response to the photo in my profile in which I am holding a albino burmese python.

(Or perhaps the python was holding me, it's still unclear.) lol

The sheer audacity and outright insolence of some people is intolerable. So, let's just assume, with optimism, he too had a pet snake and was speaking from a purely herpetological perspective.

(Uh... and why do I get the feeling that if I said something like that no one would be shocked?)

(Even with that guy's audacity & insolence it's interesting why he would say that, and it's probably out of desperation & frustration for something he can never have, so he felt the need to fling an insult. My 'arm-chair psychology' for the night, lol.)

LOL @ tck

Here's what I got in my mailbox:

"Can it be a coincident that You and I come accross this site through the same procedure,Well it seen like,or Maybe, i just write to know if each other will have the time to chat or talk thing out,you are the type i will like to discuss with,

i have yahoo messenger chating id,(he left his addy)You can add me so we talk"

Should I add him? LOL

Tck,

Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but I doubt herpetology had anything to do with this guy's motive. Whether or not the guy (or any guy!) shows me his 'snake' doesn't mean *I* am gonna do anything with/about it! haha. It's not intolerable or insulting - it's just a "one-click" - DELETE - done. Ha!

(N.B.: You're right that no one would be shocked, but that's because you know to reserve those kinds of comments for AFTER they've gotten to know you a little bit, and they therefore have fine-tuned their "teekometer". lol)

Tante,

Add him! You can't let a coincident like that pass you by! :>

Lisa - if i showed you my snake would you delete me? (talking about the rosy python im gona be getting lol)

Hello the stranger!

My name Alena, I live in Russia. I long time could not find my

satellite in a life and I have decided to try to find through the

Internet. I have seen your structure and have decided to write to you.

You seem to me nice and I would like to have correspondence with you

all over again. You can look my structure.

Mine Email semenova81@ddddd.com

I hope that you to me write.

I with impatience shall wait for your letter.

Alena.

- - - - - - -

She's already impatient.

"YOU LOOK VERY TASTEFULL AND I WOULD LIKE TO EAT YOUE PEACH FOE HOURS.SECRET FRIEND"

What if a girl here receives this message from another girl?

...It would be a dream come true for you and Born- hahahaha

The first clue should be in the favorite reading material... "Redneck's Guide to Laying Your Favorite Beast" run very fast.. don't walk and hit that "Delete"! BTW the book has a picture of a cowboy standing (dressed only in chaps) behind a lamb with a very "sheepish" grin on his face! Cartoon bubble caption says "Whose yer Daaa daaaa daaaadddddyyyy now... EWE"

"I am ***** I am from India I speak english normally you are my love will you married me?"

I would respond, but my spam filter is blocking out the engagement ring.

Avete All !!!

Here I be, my Lady Lisa ,,How could I deny such a request from someone so Regal. I very rarely get e mails of this nature ,,but I have read a few here that I have sent in cognito ,,My apoligise Tck ,Vontoria and others I will have to try harder next time LOL . I dont reply to e mails that remotely sound like these and I have only ever really replied to a complete stranger once ,, ending all that I had said with ,,,,if you are Crazy ,,,,in a Bad way ,,,please dont take it personally ,,as I am not interested in potentual psychopaths as potentual friends ,,, am waiting for a responce LOL .

Shemhamforash !!!!

SpiritRogue

Spirit..!

Where have you been? We've all ben sooo worried about you. Welcome back...!

(P.S. - When I think about you and Lisa in the same thought... uh... OMG.)

LOL

tee hee

How about this one, as a first email ever:

"Hi Lisa, Call me! (xxx)xxx-xxxx."

Umm, as much as I can appreciate a laconic man, aren't we skipping a few steps here?

you guys actually get mail?

The Africans don't even respond to me. Must be a bubba thang

Lucky you, Bubs.

Hello!

I was interested with your structure and consequently I have decided to write to you.

I shall a little tell to you about myself: my name is Elena.

Now I do not have favorite person and I would like to find him. You have interested I write to me can at us with you that that will turn out. It is necessary to try.

More in detail you can learn about me in my letters.

If I am interesting to you write to me.

I very much want to find the love.

That who that cared of me and I cared of whom that.

My e-mail: elenaattractive@gmail.com

Write to me only on elenaattractive@gmail.com

I shall wait for your letter with the answer with impatience!!!

I saw your profile. I would love to chat with you. Steve

sevans14@excite.com

xxx-xxx-xxxx

first of all why would I call you? i havent even talked to you,lol

This is Johnny, 48, and am very interested in knowing you! I would love an email so that we can exchange more pictures, a complete profile, etc.

I am really looking forwarding in hearing from you!

1. itbgcthe

2. a t

3. y, a, h, o, o

4. d o t

5. c o m

Sincerely Yours,

Johnny Howard

6. I

7. Dont

8. Think

9. So

10. lol

Should I ask him to send me a questionaire so I can fill out a complete profile

Manhattan, don't ask for a homework assignment. I'm never getting back those three days I spent answering all those 3-best-things, 3-worst-things questions I got once.

Manny I have an email from someone wanting me to drop ship for them that has a complete form (about 20 questions) you can use as guide!

Big red flag when the first email includes a telephone number, email or IM address, etc. Even if it's not a "pro" scammer, BIG RED FLAG. lol.

We aware Minglers should include a disclaimer in our profile descriptions, to read something like "No financial profit will be made from contact with this individual. Move the f*%@ on, loser." haha

LOL

This is one of my favourites.......

HELLO dear AND HOW ARE YOU DOING.. I HOPE THAT THE LORD IS TREATING YOU WITH CARE... YOU MAY BE WONDERING HOW I COULD JUST WRITE TO YOU BUT I WAS GOING THROUGH SEARCH AND I CAME ACROSS YOUR profile SO I DECIDED TO WRITE TO YOU.... FIRST OF ALL MY NAME IS philip opare..... AND I LIVE IN GHANA WEST AFRICA... I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR MY SOUL MATE IN A VERY LONG TIME AGO BUT I KNOW THAT GOD HAS THE SPECIAL SOMEONE FOR ME... I will PROOF TO YOU THAT I AM FOR REAL AND DOWN TO HEART... I WOULD WANT US TO CHAT SO THAT WE CAN KNOW MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT I WOULD WANT TO DO SO THAT YOU WOULD KNOW THAT I AM VERY SERIOUS AND FOR REAL IS THAT I WOULD SHOW MYSELF IN THE WEBCAM FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM A REAL MAN AND AM NOT HEAR FOR GAMES.... I DIDNT BOTHER TO SEND YOU A PICTURE COS I WANT TO BE REAL WITH YOU FROM THE SCRATCH... IT WOULD BE MY GREATEST PLEASURE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU REAL REAL SOON SO THAT WE CAN START TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER... IF GOD WANTS IT TO HAPPEN THEN I KNOW YOU WOULD WRITE ME BACK... I AM ALSO HAVING A STRONG FEELING THAT YOU ARE A GOOD woMAN AND AS SUCH YOU DESERVE A GOOD MAN LIKE ME FOR US TO SHARE THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER...I AM FOR REAL AND WOULD SHOW YOU THAT WHEN YOU SEE ME IN THE WEBCAM...MAY THE GOOD LORD BE WITH YOU WHEREVER AND YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT AND MAY HE TOUCH YOUR HEART FOR YOU TO WRITE ME BACK BECAUSE YOU WOULD NEVER REGRET THAT... HEAR FROM YOU

I guess God didn't want it to happen, maybe because I'm MARRIED?!? *laugh*

Along the lines of what Lisa said up there, I got this:

DEAR SIR,

I AM XXXX XXXXXXX, I HAVE READ YOUR PROFILE, I CAN SEE YOU ARE AN HONEST MAN, I WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME MOVE MY LATE HUSBAND AMOUNT OUT OF SOUTH AFRICA TO YOUR COUNTRY, I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ON A DATING SITE PLEASE CONTACT ME ON MY PRIVATE EMAIL XXXXXXXXXXX AT yahoo.com. I AM WAITING YOUR REPLY SO I CAN TELL YOU MORE ABOUT THIS.

REMAIN BLESSED

XXXXX

She read my profile and it impressed her so much, she just had to call me 'Sir'.

TCK Elena loves me too I think. I just today got her in another mail and this time she has two cute pix in her profile.

I musta violated one of Lisa's more obscure rules as she never answered my Email. I'm teasing and its ok no reason needed. Really.

So, I guess you're saying that starting my introductory email to the female of my fancy by writing "Oh Baby! I want to be the cream in your puff" is the reason why no one's writing me back?

Scorp, I think she digs our 'structure'. LOL.

Haha yup that would be she Thom. when I have time I usually send at least one email back to see how long it takes to get to money. Ever get a plea from Ireland? Someone waiting on her last paycheck ? She wants to move to a town near you?

Now how do I tell her my dance card is full and do you think those are her photos? Shes cute and leaves me wanting her.... I was hard pressed to translate Structure also....I was so flattered at first that she was digging me more intelligent writings....lol but then I realized she just wanted me for my body. And that hurt

Aww, you poor, sensitive boys... don't these women know that you're more than a piece of meat?!?

Welcome to my world! (and that of most all women!)

<laffs with Lisa> **** don't these women know that you're more than a piece of meat?!?*** And that they do Lisa.

My philosophy:A celebration of bachelorhood

"(rod stewart / ron wood)

Spent some time feelin inferior

Standing in front of my mirror

Combed my hair in a thousand ways

But I came out looking just the same

Daddy said, son, you better see the world

I wouldnt blame you if you wanted to leave

But remember one thing dont lose your head

To a woman thatll spend your bread

So I got out...." From Every Picture Tells a Story

I found a Minglerette four miles from home. I hope to walk to our first encounter in an Itlaian bistro here. Cutie too but she also is a Scorpio and that is not a good mixture.

Scorpios dont mix well with their own and Leos.

"Welcome to my world!"

Well thanks for that cordial invitation, Lisa sweety.

I'll eagerly look forward to exploring that world in all of it's detail.

(Wowza...!)

Russian women Rock from my view point. They are sultry.

I try hard to convey that I am trying to date within my own hemisphere at least.

Bodies fade into oblivion. Memories and substance do grow through time and become a window into beauty. Dear Elena: How I wish we could be two gypsies and wander through your world. travel like Mongolians and fade out of this crazy world. I dont think this is what she has in mind. If you sincerely love ME and not TCK please send an airline ticket to some remote country were can spoil each other....Sweden or perhaps on the Shores along the Ionian.

Ooops I have to get back to my real life.

I just received awink from an Ukrainian beauty, 43 and adorably cute. Anyone met Natally yet?

Shes someone I might invest a few emails into and see if she is even remotely real. I'm taken by her beauty and being led by testosterone. How painfully sick it is to be a hopeless romantic.

Silly boys - this forum is about things to NOT do in order to get an email response - it's well-understood now that what TO do to get a response is to post a photo of an attractive Eastern-European woman, whether or not it's actually you.

I personally find I hate responding to this type:

From: donnahinkleto me

Sent: 1/2/2008 1:02:54 PM

Subject: New Year OfferWould u like to do new year work online from home temporarily and get $1,500 weekly ? Just a part time work and won't disturb your day time work Pm me back if you are intrested......

.............................................................................

first off all i will like to know your A/S/L and what u do for a living Am37/ female / Single from Springfield,Illinois in US,I work for TERRY FABRIC TEXTILES LIMITED COMPANY ENGLAND

...........................................................

www.terrysfabrics.co..uk

...................................................................

we are looking for a representative in the states, someone who we can entrust with our company money and funds and would help us recieve payments from our customers,clients in the states for the supply of fabric and textile materials we supply to them,

..............................................................................

The reason why we need this representatives is because the cost of coming to the state and getting payments is very expensive,

we can spend up $1,300USD only in buying tickets and the rest of the expenses ,so we need a representative in the united state who will be capable and reliable of handling that aspect, We are willing to pay $500 per every payment u recieve ,and you can still keep ur regular job while you work for us

.................................................................................

All you have to do is help us recieve payments from our customers and clients in the states.These payments areand they would come to you in your name and information and the reason for this is that you will be the one to cash the check,so all you need do is cash the check or money orders take out your payment which is ever checks u recived each day $500 USD and wire the rest of the money to us via western union money transfer

...................................................................................

ok once the check as been sent out my boss will e-mail u the western union and the tracking nurmber once the check as beem mailed out to the address u gave me ok

.........................................................................

The problem we have is trust,so you must be trusthworthy and reliable and more so But we have our way of getting anyone that try to get away with our money and funds ,I mean the IRS....F.B.I and the corps overthere will work together and they will arrest the person.

..............................................................................

it wouldnt cost u any amount,u are to receive our payments which will be sent to u by fedex or ups from our business partners,clients and customers which would come in a Bussiness check or money orders then u are to cash it take out your pay ($500) and send to us via western union money transfer

.........................................................................

And i would need you to give me your full name ,home address e-mail address and your phone number for me to get in contact withyou. so that payment can be made and mail out to you

...............................................................................

This are the information that will be required from you

First Name: ..................

Middle Name: .................

Last Name: ...................

Address Line 1: ..............

Address Line 2: ...............

City: .........................

State: ........................

Zip: ...........................

Country......................

Home Phone: ....................

Cell Phone: ....................

Gender: .............

Marital Status: ................

Age: .............................

State of Origin: ................

Driver's License No: ...................

Bank Name:...............................

N.B: The purpose of requesting the Drivers License is Strictly to

protect our funds from the fraudulent intentions of representatives who try

to abscond with the company's funds in their possession. For traceable

reasons within the US and CANADA, hence we request for it, furthermore,

to avoid the name problems of two people having same names the number

helps to automatically differentiate in our representatives

directories

..................................................................................

TERRY FABRIC ADDRESS.

"The problem we have is trust,so you must be trusthworthy and reliable and more so But we have our way of getting anyone that try to get away with our money and funds ,I mean the IRS....F.B.I and the corps overthere will work together and they will arrest the person."

Oh you will be arrested alright, but for fraud...

But, Starfire, you didn't tell us if her picture was pretty or not (heh, heh)

It was a bubble person pic

Seriously, though, I am amazed that you had that sent to you. Especially that section, "it wouldnt cost u any amount,u are to receive our payments which will be sent to u by fedex", like that would fool anyone.

LOL Buddle people Biff... bubble people

Oh my, what should I do??? Is this the man of my dreams?

Hey!! hi Am so happy i can go thru your profile

and this make me feel okay anbd believe that there is feeling's and caring ..am a humble man so king and caring laugh with nice mood well . do love to meet some one like me to so we can Share your thoughts, ideas or experiences on this article topic togther ... u can add meto my yahoo isntant messager or imailme direct ...id (*********@yahoo.com)...When you're looking for a perfect way to unwind from the day or spend a ttle rest and relaxation time with your partner....i think is grow's from feelings....

****Silly boys - this forum is about things to NOT do in order to get an email response - it's well-understood now that what TO do to get a response is to post a photo of an attractive Eastern-European woman, whether or not it's actually you.*** LMAO, generally I find that the 2d world of the internet holds little interest and cant compete with the 3D of real life. Unless someone is in your near neighborhood, its just a few laffs and good bye. Maybe I am wrong Lisa. What do you think.

I dont even go into chat anymore coz theres a g-d dam banner across my screen and I only see like three postings...I liked the old style of Chat. Perhaps I am missing some interface tweek, so if anyone cares to help, please do.

I state that I am with staryeyed in my heading.

I get hit on.

I state that I am a gay male looking for men over 90.

I get hit on.

Crazy world no?

taders & scorp, you are both spot-on. This e- thing is... well, it's just that. It's e-.

But can be a fun diversion, from time to time!

(The chat room is less than perfect, but the cammers compensate for the annoying banner; at least I think we do....)

and tck, you may be welcomed to my world, but as yet you do not have the proper credentials for exploration thereof....

I know Hon, but the thought of it seriously enhances my dreams at night.

Didja ever have one of those times where you couldn't wait to get in bed at night so you could just dream about the one you wish was right there beside you?

(P.S. - that's a line out of a song, lol, sorry, even smoothy me can't come up with something that corny, lol. Good line tho' huh?)

***and tck, you may be welcomed to my world, but as yet you do not have the proper credentials for exploration thereof....***

Ouch !!!

I might have warned on that TCK. That is WHY I asked for NO explanation dude.....lol.

****Oh my, what should I do??? Is this the man of my dreams?*** I am here waiting my old friend....BTW when did you get married? I talked to Shilo some time back, didnt know she was married also....most of the females I knew are now married I think so perhaps online dating is for real.

****(The chat room is less than perfect, but the cammers compensate for the annoying banner; at least I think we do....)*** what is camming I didnt see any web cam on the site....argh!!!! If dint have a kid in nursing school I might be willing to spring for a new pc but not yet.

Compac running at 300mz and pent 2 chip and 64 mgs of ram, I am lucky to be alive on the net at all.

Yup Scorp 6 yrs & 3 months

Lord, Scorp, is it steam-driven as well? LOL

LOL

No steam but I did kick start the tower a few times.

Jumper cables?

***And i would need you to give me your full name ,home address e-mail address and your phone number for me to get in contact withyou. so that payment can be made and mail out to you

...............................................................................

This are the information that will be required from you

First Name: ..................

Middle Name: .................

Last Name: ...................

Address Line 1: ..............**** here is my response to these people.....sorry but I cant, but I have family in the FBI who can and have passed it along. Please be advised that you might have had a tracking virus loaded when opening my mail or may not.....good luck.

LOL I did report it Scorp

Star, does that do any good? Just wondering.

Teek, that's so sweet, even if it's not really yours. Now, you'll need to come to the Chicago office, to fill out the paperwork for the Approval of Credentials for Exploration (A.C.E.)....

Sounds like an invite to me TCK....speaking of Chicago......anyone heard from Prissy since she moved from there to Pa? I use to have her on messenger but I think she is probably way too busy in her new job. That or she found a bubble bath partner.

She has and open invite if ever in Philly to email me and we could have Lunch in the city. As is true with any other Mingler.

I just rec'd another wink from the Ukraine.....lol

Lisa, when I return my message and say I passed it along to the FBI, I figure it probably plants a good seed in their heads.

I love the ones who say they are holding millions for me....how generous

Lisa

Well reporting to Mingles gets them booted, then I give Andy a copy, more so to educate people that this is happening and be aware. Best defense is knowledge... even with getting it out there, there are still people that fall for it.

Here is my contribution. Compliment of a season to you, how are you and your family hope fine, if so thanks be to God Almighty.

Its nice for me to viewed your profile, which make me to send a few words to you that, i wish to know u better than this,

Because we have alot to share together which is happness.

Am waiting to read from you soonest.

Abbey

N.B.

You can also contact me through my yahoo/msn messenger (eldertee2k@yahoo.com or abiodunajao27@hotmail.com)

Star, you remeber when Mingles went on ICQ and created private rooms and chatted there or MSN, is this extinct now? I dont have ICQ anymore but MSN I do have. Yahoo also just neither one is under this name.

I always enjoyed those rooms and those messengers are alot more sofisticated than mingles. I particularly liked ICQ's sound effects.

i like you.you remind me of the last woman i had the buttsex with.no?yes?

I remember LOL Being in chat and running ICQ... miss that I do have Yahoo... Been trying to catch Ambee all day!

"Now, you'll need to come to the Chicago office, to fill out the paperwork for the Approval of Credentials for Exploration (A.C.E.)...."

TCK_Beachbum, B.S., M.B.A., A.C.E. abd (all but dissertation).

Yeah!

Got a new one: send the same exactly-worded email that you sent previously, with the same mispellings, only update the Re: reply field appropriately to really mess with the recipient's mind (jeezus gawd....)

hahaha, deja vu, bif? lol

I just love the ones that say...I read you're profile..and you're someone I really want to meet because you interest me.

Only problem.....the profile doesn't say anything, it's BLANK!!! I always LMAO when I get these!

LEFT BLANK ON PURPOSE....ya ass!

Ya didn't respond to my email.Frown.

Ohhhh..BigJohn...didn't realize that! BigJohn..you're the MAN...gonna reply right now!

Subject: Unbelievable

you are drop-dead gorgeous!!! I have added your name to my checking account for full signatory authority over it. I will drive to Naperville to give you a pad of blank checks if you tell me you have an interest in me. If we meet we can play some music together- ....

>!

So, I'm a hooker now?! Unf*&@inbelieveable!

that's SICKO!

(true lust, he would have sent his platinum card, lol)

Yeah, Lisa, your bad email beats my bad email. Mine was just unimaginative. Yours was pretty weird, all right. But since mine was a scammer, maybe we should introduce yours to mine, because yours apparently has money to burn and that's pretty much what mine is after, especially since I was so unhelpful in helping her get her millions from those darn Nigerian authorities, lol

Lisa, take the checks, and when he shows up hand him a guitar.

Avete All !!!

It was brought to my attention today,,That a theft has accured ,without my knowledge,,Sure I may have left it ungaurded ,,because a Vision more Beautiful than life itself happened by ,,and I was completely defenceless against her entrancing presence.I struggled trying to define how this treasure had seemingly stopped my heart ,,only to realise ,,I no longer possessed it.This mesmerising woman captivated me Sooo ,,I am unsure That it was not my heart that did not go willingly with her.((( smiles)))Yes!! Know this Rapture that dances across my mind with visions of you ,,Entoxicateingly sweet ,,my mind is no longer my own ,,It has made itself a willing servant to the thought of you,,and my body slowly becomes overwhelmed by a sence of weakening.

My lady ,Lisa ,,I know it was not your intention ,,nor your wish to steal my affections and possibly my heart ,, ,,Yet , perhaps you have.

Know that,, against every existing strength that I possess ,,I struggle to carry your name threw parted lips in a plee that you will return to me ,,that which I was before you blessed me with such passion ,,such feeling ,,beyond my controll or understanding.

I emplored to thy infinite universal power ,,do not allow her to view me like this ,,for not even I can look apon my self with any high regard ,,for allowing my defences to falter at the feet of her Beauty.

If by chance my Lady Lisa,,you know not of how to make me whole again and are insenceable to the alure that you wield ,,,I must request with all that is I ,,That I may write thee and believe that you could one day find a pleasure within my freindship ((( smiles ))) that remotely capsulates the absolute slightest sence as to how you make me feel. I would be more than content with my bewitchment and I would undertake the journey to master my breath and the beat of my heart as to not fall victim again to lack of it ,,were you to gift me this request.

I patiently wait with baited breath for your possible reply ,,Though I could not dare think badly of you were I to never recieve one.

Yous sincerely and completely

SpiritRogue

Shemhamforash!!!!

The Light Shines in the Darkness and the Darkness understands it not.

...ok, spirit- I'm not going to deny it- I'm totally lost, lol- was that an email YOU received, or...?

Lisa, I believe that Spirit is hitting on you. And she stated it more eloquently than any guy would. I would sure like to see the reply to that one.

Tanfixer

Hi Spirit,

You are a beautiful and expressive woman, and I appreciate your message.

I've sent you a proper reply via email & I'll see you soon in chat.

-L.

Um... quick question...

Can me and Tan T. get into the middle of this?

She needs some training to catch up for lost time, and I'm... well... well... oh hell, I just want to watch, OKAY?

(*teek, leave me out of this!*)

OMG... that's Tan T. ^ *gasp*

Isn't she lovely? Exotic, sexually alluring, mysterious...

Avete All !!! Ave Lisa !

Forgive my boldness for addressing everyone when I was speaking to only one ,,,but I wasnt quite sure if this letter wouldnt have ended up here anyway along with some of the other attemps at trying to get someone to write me .LOL

Thank You Lisa !!! Your Friendship would be most welcomed. ((smiles)) No affence to any ,But I have a rule to do, iether one or the other ,,and if I am playing in chat it basically means I dont hang out in the forums. The last thing I need is to be drawn into a passionate discussion on any Given thing ,,get abit fiery and worked up with someone over it and then bump into them again in chat and have them give me a good Cyber beating .LOL

LOL It would do no good for the feel of the room and the exhibitionist in me could not have anywhere near as much fun as I had been having so ,,this is good bye for me .

I'll catch yous all in chat sometime .

Shemhamforash !!!!

SpiritRogue

It is easier to be an individual then it is to mimic others.

Group kiss...!!!

OHHHHHH MANNNNNN THIS IS FREAKING LOVE STUFFF!!!!! Yeeeechhhhhhh!!!!!!

PPPPFFFFFTTTTTT and that goes for the Captain and Mostie too1!!

I'm cuttin your tires (all of you!!!)

Better bring a Sawzall, Cimm...I got chains on them. (the tires that is)

Yea?? Will at least you can't throw water on me this time, cause it's all frozen...

in my case including a picture is a sure misfire of nuclear social proportions.

We've opted for snowballs, cim- at least until spring thaw!

DOH!!!!!

Here's another reason why you should exchange personal email addresses only after really trusting the other person: send along chain letter emails! Oh Lord, this is slow death by a thousand little papercuts, isn't it?

You just had to send your email to Gen'l Bubba, didn't you!

Lord, Starfire, I don't even want to imagine the chain letter emails that General Bubba subscribes to

I just got an email form a Russian beauty with mulitple pix, she said she luvs my puddy tat pic.

If you can't bewitch with brilliance, always go for the baffle option (pretty much word for word as I received it). Now, I am NOT making fun of people for whom English is a second language, I very much respect the ability to speak in an alternate language. But in this example, please supply an appropriate thesaurus, okay?

I am that a character be honest and good, self-confidence, pleasure help others of person, I have no bad love to love, character active bright girl's son, like to get to the Internet, play ball. At person The world look for a true love, struggle effort for the ego, in order to dream of, love, is target.The affair of the life not equal to idea ten often 89 we should with optimism Tai The degree face, happiness often sort you, because of oneself of life from oneself decision of!I to friend's expectation must honesty, sincerity, sincere,We ratio time ability Can the white is to the generation.I to life viewpoint is life is that one blessing illustration be versatile to future life blunt full hope.Sincerity.What about you?BE or not have similar viewpoint with me?can u told me your mailbox ?So of words I can tell you more of my affair!?

Although, how can you argue against "The affair of the life not equal to idea ten often 89"? Maybe the meaning of life IS 89, who can say for sure, huh?

Bif, sounds to me like she used Babblefish or something, lol

As for your 'brilliance' saying there, I heard it a different way (it was probably Americanized, we're a rough bunch here, heh heh!)

'If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshi*'

LOL, Mostie. What's scary is, the more I read it, the more I worry that Bob Dylan is trying to hit on me ("I have no bad love to love", "We ratio time ability / Can the white is to the generation", "The world look for a true love, struggle effort for the ego", etc).

lol

Hey Biff, the answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.

...and it's wearing a leopardskin pillbox hat.

Lisa, they could always pull the slave style email! That would get an istant "Not in this lifetime!"

Ha! Exactly right Star!!

Okay, I gotta ask-- what's a slave style email? (Say, this isn't another one of those dom-sub references that goes completely over my head, is it?)

lol...no clue, Biff. I don't think we're SUPPOSED to get it.

Hello,

Am rotty and i really love the way you look in your pics have gone through ur Profile,i really love to know you better if you dont mind cause your appearance looks like that of a sincere kind of person so i will love to get to know more about you if you dont mind.i will also want to start up a Serious Relationship if you don't mind...cus i thought that wat you are looking for & i can get married to you and start a family with you,Am ready to give all it takes,cus i know if i tell you i am honest & faithful dat will not show untill you get to know me better,you can add me on your messenger chat email address is ojuoluwarotimi@hotmail.com..ojuoluwa_rottyboy@yahoo.com..& u can call me back on +447031923836 or +2348084554188... am also a student and a self work.....will will be expecting a reply from your end

I see he didnt read my profile,lol i guess he'll just rot away,lol

Manny, you heart breaker! *spanks Manny*

Don't tell any prospective dates you spent 5 years in the slammer even though you found Jesus and were an exemplary inmate while incarcerated........

Well here is todays contribution.. I think your headline saying your from Sierra Leone should match your profile which says your from Texas. If she is looking for a man I guess I should change my picture or she needs glasses..LOL

Subject: tummy_xjhnyahoocomtummy_xjhn@yahoo.com

I care to establish a friendship with you after going through your profile in this dating site.Tummy by name , very good looking girl that is sharing and loving in nature, fair in complexion with a hot sexy slim stature.Kindly get back to me through my id: (tummy_xjhn@yahoo.com)

So,that i can tell you more about me and also exchange my picture with you.see you soon

OK I realize we all get ridiculous spam emails and fake phishing messages, etc. so it's 2EZ to cut & paste but I do not believe this rule has not yet been posted: Referring to yourself in the 3rd person is not hot. It's creepy and signals dimentia and therefore will guarantee NO RESPONSE (names have been changed to protect the idiotic):

Subject: LegendRider finds you most interesting

Legend grew up in Berwyn, Illinois; knows the Chicago area. 60 year old Legend is an ex-rock&roller; lead guitar,lead vocals; wrote some songs; no money in that. Now Legend lives in Makanda, Illinois, a suburb of Carbondale, Illinois. LegendRider is not my real name, it is my pen name. ... You can E-mail Legend at ******@***.com, and ******@*.net.

.

.

.

I'll take a pass. And not the backstage type.

I had someone last week shoot me some mail that said...look let me cut to the chase...we live about 4 miles apart. lets have coffee.....

I replied and said "you think I could at least see a picture of you first"....I mean G-d dam, just coz youre on the net, its like people wanna take you for a test dirve, or sumpin.

I used to have a profile in another site and for a goof my header said...."recent lottery winner" and I would evade the obvious and then confes that it was only for five dollars however, technically I didnt lie.

If there greed made my winners larger, thats on them....you'd be surprised just who writes.

One day I'd like to meet up with half these screwballs on the jerry springer show and have the bell go off....

Ha...! Brings back memories.

Way back in the late 80's (remember the 80's?) I was reading though the dating ads in the back of Washingtonian Magazine, I noticed an 'ad' from a girl who's P.O. Box was 4 boxes away from mine at the post office. I sent her a letter telling her to check her mail at a certain time and we could meet. We did, we even dated for a while.

Back then the 'no picture' thing was the norm. I can't imagine doing something like that now though.

I got a friend's request from this guy... Never spoke, never chatted and besides he likes guys!

http://www.mingles.com/veervikramchauhan

Haven't seen this listed yet, but I think when what you're writing could be considered pushy, strident or shouting... eh, not good (I post this because whoever sent this is apparently no longer on here).

"Good day my dear one How are u doing today. Hope all is will with u . As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you will never get back. This year is full of blessings, joy and happiness, may your wishes and dreams come through..... It's your turn to write me. You can write to my email. I will love to get to know you.

( EUGENIA_LOVE2000@XXXXXX.COM)

My name is EUGENIA"

(Can you hear me now? Can you hear me NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?!? WHAT'S MY NAME?!?)

Um... ok... you want the name, right? Melvin? Howard? Barney?

*Starts singing "I love you, you love me..."*

LOL at star. It's just that "My name is EUGENIA", as in, "You better WRITE ME", "You don't want me TO GET ANGRY", "You wouldn't like me WHEN I GET ANGRY", "You better NOT FORGET MY NAME, "What's MY NAME?", "My name is EUGENIA", "Can you hear me NOW?"....

I love you, you love me, hehehehehehehehe

Oh Eugenia, he's over here hiding!

"You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you.

You're so vain, so vain. You probably think this song is about you,

don't you,

don't you,

don't you?"

If you're singing it to me, then, Yes I do.

And therefore, yes I am.

In light of the pandemonium sweeping the forums of late, and since I've been out-of-pocket for a week or so, I thought I'd make a post of a different sort in here: I was so moved by one of the emails I happened to get while I was gone, so here we go:

Ways To Make Sure You WILL Get A Response To Your Mingles Email:

"The hope of you is why men sign up with online dating sites in the first place."

Awwwww (hear that? that's my heart melting.)

I think I will spend the rest of my day mentally berating, torturing, and beating myself up for not having sent Lisa that saying.

Why, why, why... didn't I think of that? I am a complete failure. What the f:uck is wrong with me?

"If you're singing it to me, then, Yes I do.

And therefore, yes I am."

To take a cue from the song, not that I get it completely "I think a lot of myself, therefore I am?" Sometimes Guilty. When character fails you, make do with attitude.

"the hope of you is why men sign up with online dating sites in the first place."

Y'know, and I thought I was a word warrior.....this guy forgot more about women than I ever knew.

Atteeen shun. Set dooown rifle. Remoooove Beret.

Now pray we ordinary folks are still in the running,TCK.

Salute a Master.

Aluta continua

....tck, it's because you go for the back door and never come to the front door with flowers and heartfelt words, LOL

TCK;

Berate and torture yourself even further:

It was me that sent it.

Ha, ha, all you jokesters!

But tck, you're asking that in the Mingles Forum!! Duck and cover, man, Duck... and... cover.

Mostie - good point, but honestly, this guy probably heard about it from someone somewhere else, so I take it with a grain of salt.

And all you out there with multiple profiles here or on other social sites - proceed with caution in aiming that line at other targets: it may be 'going around,' and will end up on a "Best Pickup Lines Ever" forum, lol!

Not that I'll be starting one.

I'm workin' on one ... special for you, Lisa. Heh heh.

Hmmmmm.

Now, I do happen to be aware of that pervasive, loose knit and highly effective organisation striking terror into the hearts of compulsive flirters everywhere. I personally call it the FIS or Female Intelligence Service.

I am sure that the Mossad operations manual frequently refers to this organisation in hushed tones of awed respect. In other words, Lisa. The girls already know, no need.

Hi btw ***wave***

LOL @ "maybe the meaning of life is 89" LOL

Biff you crack me up bud.

Sure, Fire. I'll believe it when I see it! :o!!!

Hi Gith! (fyi, FIS Primary Offensive Maneuver is Indeterminate Infiltration.)

Hi, Aaron, don't get your hopes up. Continue to be suspicious at all times.

(BTW someone told ME the answer was 42.)

It is 42, now what is the question?

btw - so long, and thanks for all the fish.

Haven't heard from TCK - wondering (hoping) he is still torturing himself.

Lisa I got one that was very interesting, but I will forward it to you!

Lisa please do me a small favor and delete the post 5 up about the email i questioned ... I can happily say "I was just being overcautious"

but i do want to re-add this

I could not stop laughing at the bob dylan emailer and your comments on them..LOL I was afraid I was gonna wake up the whole apartment building I was cracking up so much....haha

After any long-term relationship it may be tough to find the inner strength or desire to open your heart to love again. When a love interest comes knocking at your door, how do you know that old battle wounds and scars have been healed enough to let love in? Seeing as each person is completely individual, there really isn't a way to know exactly when the right time to begin a new relationship is. What may work for one person, may not work for another. Fortunately, there are a few key attributes that successful relationships have in common. If you find that you meet these, then it may be time to let love in. When you're ready to analyze your heart's state of affairs, take an honest look at the questions below to determine how ready you really are.this my id steve @yahoo.com

gees what happened to hi how are you,lol

been getting to many crazy ones and lately alot from nigeria

Well Manny you do look broken hearted and nigerian!

spanks star,lol, and sings how do you mend a broken heart,lmao

We're in chat watching Jay do his laundry

/////////From: justmejoe4uto me

Sent: 3/11/2008 4:51:21 PM

Subject: n

go screw ur self asshole with ur ****ed up comment...its assholes like u im talking about////////

Jo blew his chance at getting an email back from me. That's a fact.

I've never deleted a post before; I don't like it. It leaves an icky, censorship-y residue on my fingers!

But, there you go, Aaron.

I have to go wash now.

Thank you Lisa

But a similar emailer I was back and forth with got deleted... So your tip of "be suspicous at all times" is a good one.

Someone post more of the "Lyrical" emails.. I am yet to get one but.

"With awatingness happily will recieve. Blessed be will I were to get one."

Firewalker, is this you??? (I'm hopin... or else I'm going to start BELIEVING that I'm old!)

- - - - -

From: ***** to me

Sent: 3/27/2008 6:07:55 PM

Subject: Age Is a Problem

Hi Lisa:

I hate to tell you this, I think you could be a little to old formy tastes.s

However because your so nice, Id be willing to waaive that idea, and become your friend first,and thensee what happens

fondly

*****

That sounds just eeevil enough to be him.

If it isn't it should be. And because I like you, I'm hoping it is.

And Lisa, you are as old as you feel. (Note I did not specify how "one" feels at any given time.)

Please excuse my having a smile at your expense. You made my day, since it is rainy and miserable here.

Thanks Githy baby,

Oh and I neglected to include that (according to his profile info) the jackass who sent me that message is 62! And I'm "to old" (sic.) for that!

ouch!!!!

Hey Lisa! This one actually read my profile!

"Hello, at first your photo caught my eye, but after reading your profile, I realized you are not only geographicly off limits, but also morally, since you are already married! For those who just want to get laid,and persist even knowing that you are married, just tell them to crawal up a chickens ass, and wait! All the best, XXX"

Skip the small talk and show me your boobs!!!!!!!! LOL

Personally, poor grammer is enough to put me off on someone. That PLUS constant misspellings? Ugh! I mean, I'll misspell a word now and then if I'm typing rather quickly, that's simply to be expected, but I mean "Come on!" Public Education didn't end after 2nd Grade with the ABC's and nothing more. When people write in ALL CAPS or EvErY OtHeR OnE...it just annoys me to no end. But hey, that's just me.

For Robbi:

( * Y * )

Firedrake misspelled "grammar"

(and quite a few others in his profile)

But hey, that's just him.

The fakers all seem to love yahoo also. Every suspicious mail I get has a womans name first and then a mans IE Jill_Jack@yahoo

****Personally, poor grammer is enough to put me off on someone. That PLUS constant misspellings? ***

Ah thanks, I'm glad my friends can overlook a few mistakes. I could be a little more vigilent but then, I just wouldnt be ME!!!

Cristobalito

Like I said, I type too fast for my brain to catch everything. But here I'm talking about purposeful misspellings. Such as when a person writes things like " U no wut ahm sayin? or OMG, u n i shood totally git 2gezer!" Now come on. Please don't tell me you like that kind of thing.

Good catch, Cristo, lol! Web forums are definitely a proofreader's nightmare. But yes, scorp, don't goooooo changinnnnnnn....

Oh, and, nice e-rack, Starfire! hee hee

Oh and I agree with FireDrake - that totally takes the focus away from the MEANING of the communication!

Ello FarDr8k,

Ye - luv um

west lafayette? do you go to Ball State?

Lisa, Even I have to admit I cringe sometimes when going back over things.....I never do know which two fingers want to type and when my spell check and this dam reloading window are in synch.

Patience sometimes is not my strong suit. That is no excuse really. AND BTW. I wouldnt change a thing between you and I Lisa.

****U no wut ahm sayin? or OMG, u n i shood totally git 2gezer!" Now come on. Please don't tell me you like that kind of thing.***

FireDrake, isnt that the hallmark of your generation? Not you personally...and BTW thanks for serving. I delved into your profile to see how young and saw your military pic.

You ought to do well here with the ladies, really.

That shortcut style of writing is a sure mark of an habitual texter.

I gotta run...I'm watching the finding of the Yamato from WW2.

Got A Boat????????

Thanks Scorpio. It is a sad fact but yes, the degredation of English Grammar and all that entails is one of the short comings of my generation. Alas, what can one do when the average college student spends so much more time writing and reading text messages than keeping up with the newest bestsellers? *sigh* But I digress. Back to the subject at hand...How to ensure no one responds to your email!

-Open with an etremely detailed first date chaulk full of cliches.

-Claim to be an Iranian Prince in exile. And...

-Vow to prove your love with poems, flowers, chocolates, and sexual tension : )

....Hey kiddo, chocolate is NEVER a bad thing- LOL

LOL!

Firedrake - seriously, you go to Ball State?

arrogance,ugly,old,want-a-be

Christo, no. I'm a Purdue guy. But before you get all up in arms about how much better Ball is or isn't, it's just cause I live real close don't have to move or pay rent yet. Pretty nice for me from a fiduciary standpoint. And since I don't give a whit about school loylaties and (since this is usually associated with that) school sports teams, that's the only thing I really care about at this point. Why the interest? Do you teach there or something?

Nah, I have a hot young 21 year old third cousin who is majoring in library studies at Ball State that I was going to tell you to look up (a really amazing young woman)

She's also in army ROTC

It was a simple question - you read a lot into it

i dont care if ya are married i still wanna fornicate ya

Not saying who sent it! Still deciding how to respond (it is a friend who sent it!)...

Heshshes rstrufflers are on of the bet choculate. I see you like to read also Fire...me also....Ludlum, Sheldon ajns the giy who wrote pottrtr buy history is my fave,

Just t ip post no ill starmrnt about women and hold all socidendrd Thats attractive indeed.

I gottad sign no ff my keys atr blurrry.

Ray

Scorpio, I think your keyboard may be broken ; )

Do you mean Sidney Sheldon? Tell Me Your Dreams, The Doomsday Conspiracy, and Are You Afraid Of The Dark? I have a lot o his. Plus...oh...500 more books from other authors. Mostly Sci-Fi, like I said, but still stuff from every genre.

Cristo, cool man. Thanks for thinking of me but one, I'm not entirely sure where Ball State is and two, I'm just gonna guess that it's too far to drive more than once every other weekend. I have tried long distance relationships before (Didn't start out that way but she moved across town.) Being in a different school was enough to end that one after only 1 month apart. I think starting from scratch from two different cities would be 10X harder. But if she's as hot as you say, I'm sure she'll find someone before too long. Talk to you all later!

lol - I'm not offering her up as a date, just thought with your interests you'd enjoy the company (and Ball St is between W.Laff and Indy)

She's graduating this May a year early and has a choice for her post-grad work with a fellowship at either Kent State, Johns Hopkins, or MIT to head on to her masters and doctorate (her family is pushing for Kent due to proximity but she could literally write her own ticket)

Heres one of many I got!

hello my name is matt i was just going trougth this site then i saw your profile i decided to say high to you,well i live at ohio in usa am single and looking for an honest woman to make friend with ok bye you can mail me on matthewshadow1976@yahoo.com bye i wait to read from you soon

Wow Christo, she sounds super smart. Just how I like em! ; )

Robert LudlumOrig Borurne Indentity)..and yeah....Rage of Angels was good...ever read "in the belly of the beast"?

No. I read Sci-Fi mostly anyway. But Dan Brown, Greg Isles, David Baldacci, and John Sandford write kinda like Sheldon...but better.

Hey Missy, I got the same email today!

This isn't a Mingles email but I've never experienced this before. Someone text messaged me on my cell (I only use my cell to check voicemail and order the occasional pizza, I didn't even know that I could get text messages) :

"Hey, I got your number from a friend of mine, but I bet you can't guess who I am. My name's shewolfxxx, if you wanna come see if you recognize me online at shewolfxxx.xxxxxxxxx.net. Well, hope to see you soon!"

Of course, you have to join the website to search the profiles and of course, after joining the site, there is no shewolfxxx to be found there. I should have clued in at that time that if I knew this person and vice versa and if she had my number, why wouldn't she just call me but I figured it was someone being coy who knew me as a friend of a friend or a blast from my past acting flirty or mysterious.

Hey! I can finally come back & spend some time here again! So of course, the first thing I do is check my emails & find another gem (lately I'm getting more emails that DO merit a response than those that do not, but I'm still gonna post 'em in here for now):

"Subject: You are beautiful.

...

Thank you for sharing it."

awww

- - - - -

And 7, you've obviously gotten yourself on some lists.

BARKEEP! Another double-shot of cynicism for my friend here!

\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ There you go! Did I miss anyone?

I was going to just ignore this..I swear...I even discussed it with a friend, re: just how stupid are guys? And then I got the second email. Identical to the first. And well, I just can't let it go...

Hi.

How are you doing?I hope you get this mail and it finds you well.I was glancing through profiles when your gorgeous picture got me attracted while your lovely words had me write you (The 'lovely words" must refer to "Just here to chat occasionally with friends" since these are the only words on my profile)...lol.I really was marvelled reading your profile and i enjoyed doing so.The first thing that came to my mind when i saw your picture was..'WOW..you're drop dead GORGEOUS.lol.so i thought i'ld take out time to introduce myself.I'm GLEN 39yrs 5:7 tall 160lbs brown hairs,blue eyes.Originally from oregon city .divorced with 1kids.thats 4yrs old,was born by a british woman from London,UK with a white man from arkansasI relocated to staying in springfield oregon after i lost my dad,but grew up with mum in London,UK.Studied in (oxford university London) had degree in contruction.I'm a proud supply of electronics to store and company and arts work .I receive the most compliments on my eyes (blue), legs (shapely/muscular) and my thoughtfulness (very). I consider myself very versatile and I have to be because I have friends and business associates of all races, ages and socio-economic backgrounds. I'm very laid-back and down-to-earth. I'm also very old-fashioned when it comes to my respect and treatment of women...As for my hobbies...Hhhh

Like camping,fishing,golf,watching movies,not much into sports but also do the side thing..lol.I like spending time with loved ones,i don't smoke and i dont drink .I really don't have much time for the common 'traditional divorced scene' but thought i'ld give it a try,besides, i have a few friends who have had good experiences.I'm an honest and straight forward man not into playing games.I am presently in west africa nigeriawith my son in the last 2 days,,,due to supply of electrinics to store and company,I'm GLEN to relocate for the right woman..Seeking a woman with the entire provabial package,beauty and morals.With self respect,understanding caring heart and not into games.Looking for a serious woman to settle with spend the rest of my life with,would take things easy but if sparks fly,then so be it.Sorry for the lengthy note,however my aim is to give you a full picture of who i am .I would be very glad if you respond with the hope of corresponding,and also hope we get to know each other better as i look forward to reading from you soon.Till u hear from you,have a blissful time and stay with God's blessings. i got im on yahoo u can aslo reach me on there on singlemanlookingforlove1@yahoo.com...my screen name is singlemanlookingforlove1.. if u have yahoo u could aslo let me know so we can chat there k

take care

Seriously, if you're going to blanket email, at least tweak the letter a bit. Any idiot with half a brain cell can tell that this email is crap. Even more so when you email to the same person with the same, identical email, within 6 days, jackass. What the hell goes through your heads?

I guess I could add, how gullible do you think we are?? (men and women included)

Looks up LMAO.. Too funny

I have also received emails from Glen..I think I posted something about his emails recently.. Glen the electronics business man who happens to be in Nigeria right now taking care of business or at least that is what he told me..LOL

Looks up LMAO.. Too funny

I have also received emails from Glen..I think I posted something about his emails recently.. Glen the electronics business man who happens to be in Nigeria right now taking care of business or at least that is what he told me..LOL

Sorry I have been stuttering with my posts it seems lately..LOL

I found that post (forum Fake Alert started by Hunter) I guess I did not copy and paste his actual email, however almost indentical to yours...

Why does that not surprise me?

I always like it when their email says their 42 and their profile age is 32.. The scary thing is somebody somewhere falls for this, otherwise I think they would have gave up long ago..

Hollo, I am an Hispanic man, looking for respectful relationship. Open to long term but close to play games...mail at auba at live.com

I'll be happy to talk tu you at least once...

Sincerely,

BS

Too funny.. I just received this a second ago. I love the fact of his intials..BS now that is classic..LMAO

xxx@yahoo.co.uk

Hello,

My name is miss vera i saw your profile today and became interested in you,l will also like to know you the more,and l want you to send an email to my email address so l can give you my picture for you to know whom l am. Here is my email address

(xxx@yahoo.co.uk) I believe we can move from here! I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.

God bless you and protect you for me.

miss vera

(Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)

------------------------

This one has a lot of self knowledge that she asks god to protect me from her LOL

When I first joined here, I used to try to at least answer emails I received, but in the interest of my time being mine, I'm selective now.

This person sent me a few winks & requests recently and I didn't respond. Now I'm a little bit frightened... can you say pushy?

"You haven't answer my emails or friends requests! You should email me at *****@yahoo.com...." (email continued on like that)

Back off, biznitch! (yeah I'm following in Flower's footsteps and calling a man that.)

Looks up...LOL.. High fives Lisa..

^5 back atcha, FP.

OK here's another Way To Make Sure You WON'T Get A Response To Your Mingles Email:

After already been told no, ask to exchange personal emails/have a telephone conversation/meet/whatever, and ask over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and... !!!

I really could use a Maid that looks like you?

Although I dont think you would EVER get any house work done!

LOL

Talk soon sexy!

Thomas

someone who finally looked at my profile,lol

Well, one way to not get a response from me is to call me 'Dad' (especially if I can't call you 'daughter' in return). Never mind the obvious scam aspects of this email (prayer and God's protection are nice but I bet the bottom line is cold hard cash), why would a real reverend join a singles dating site if his focus is the care of orphans- a little mixing of pleasure with some business? I will admit, though, when I saw the salutation 'Hello Dad' and I knew it didn't come from either of my daughters, I nearly spit-sprayed coffee all over my computer monitor, so kudos for getting my attention...

"Hello Dad,

I am Rev Jonathan Brooks from Liberia Monrovia, I am very much happy to email you I really need your prayer upon the orphans in my ministry

What really I need is God protection on them

my email xxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.co.uk

PHONE NUMBER xxxxxxxxxx

REV BROOKS"

"Hi Lisa,how are you doing?

Your hair style is lovely,please tell me,what is it called?"

?

???

Errr.

Blonde baffling blonde?

Oh, and Lisa

Bump

(When you have the time again of course)

Just got an email this morning telling me 11 (yes, that's ELEVEN!!) methods of contact to get to the sender. [1. Mingles email 2. Personal email 3. Tel 4. Cell 5. Skype 6. Yahoo messenger 7. MSN messenger 8. AIM 9. ICQ 10. website 11. YouTube (for extra-reality!)

Overkill. Offputting.

DON'T DO IT!

Now, what makes me guess the poor sap is on the rebound and out of the ball park.

He musta liked her very much, whoever she was and whatever she did....

Lisa, you will always attract them!

I just wish they read profiles...or comprehended what they read...

Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large masses.

Democracy, anyone?

Seriously though, you need to be a bit detached to read the signs and strike a balance in your approach. When you are desperate, the first thing that goes out the window is discretion, and thus your chances.

Been there <grin>

Still am, sometimes. It is part of the male experience.

I second that motion, Starfire!

But it'll never happen. I just have to accept the fact that I'll spend a third of my total email time clicking "Delete" then "YES" at all the individual Winks & Friend Requests.

Woe is me, lol.

Well hi everyone i hope you are having a great summer, miss all of you!!!

I recieved this in my mail yesterday and i wanted to share this with you...

From: zakaria18to me

Sent: 7/10/2008 1:36:50 PM

Subject: hioh my best lady i want to **** you in you ass and betien you ****

you are very sexy lady

**** **** ...

well i wrote back to him hello to you too,lmao

Not all men are gentlemen

Not all men are jerks

Not all men are idiots

Some men have learnt that you can say almost anything to a woman as long as you express it correctly (With apologies to Professor Higgins)

Now guess which this one is. 3 out of 4 ain't bad I suppose.

Hi btw Manny,Lisa and Tante especially and everyone else generally.

So why am I posting? I cut off my Internet on the 3rd of this month in pure disgust and told Telecom so. I am still not cut off.... Fyi I have not been able to send an e mail in 10-11 weeks, and many sites I cannot get into. Like Myspace, Hotmail and so on

HAIL AFRICAN EFFICIENCY

Bah Humbug

I usually do not publish private emails or usernames, but in this case it is necessary and I'm certain they will not mind. These are from two separate women who don't seem to mind my marital status; one from the state of Georgia, the other from California.............

From: iamvika965to me

Sent: 7/11/2008 3:16:09 PM

Subject: Hello

Hello!!!

I liked your profile and I wish to know your name, it is interesting to me, what name such fine person has, and I hope for dialogue with you. The life has presented me beauty, but has not given from the present love. My name is Vika. I from Russia. For me it is all for the first time, and you should not be confused, if I have made something not so...

You can see my profile and then to write to me on my e-mail (if it is pleasant to you certainly).

vikahk@yahoo.com

I will wait for your letters!

From: Thesunbirdieto me

Sent: 7/12/2008 2:44:25 AM

Subject: Hello

Hello!!!

I liked your profile and I wish to know your name, it is interesting to me, what name such fine person has, and I hope for dialogue with you. The life has presented me beauty, but has not given from the present love. My name is Vika. I from Russia. For me it is all for the first time, and you should not be confused, if I have made something not so...

You can see my profile and then to write to me on my e-mail (if it is pleasant to you certainly).

vikahk@yahoo.com

I will wait for your letters!

Now, at first I thought these "might" be from the same person since they are sharing the same email address and think so much alike, but of course this is impossible since one lives in California and the other, in Georgia.

How is a person to choose? *l*

I pick the georia one it's closer.. You take the one in Cali.. Say Hi to FP while you are there.. Lol

Being the generous sort of person I am, they are both yours. *l*

Geez, what are the odds their names would both be Vika?? Wow!

Now offered, even more selection! If you aren't keen on thesunbirdie or iamvika965, there's vika342 and notforplay87 (I'm not sure where they're from, probably somebody's imagination). Is someone operating some sort of semi-illegal and highly unorthodox cloning experiment here in Mingles and did they leave it running all weekend?

It's been on Autopilot, Biff. It doesn't even need much maintenance (something about having a very good "structure".

NotforPay59?

I feel a profile coming on. Wonder how that would go down on fling.com

hi dear,

wow u are so beautiful,only Gods creation can compare to the beauty that i see in you through ur wonderful pic u have there.how are u doin out there?hope by the colour of the rainbow n by the grace of God u are livin well.dear i really thank God that i came across ur id to send u this mail.

Dear first of all i will like to introduce myself to u,my name is Frank mensah,am 27years old,am 5'2ft tall,am chocolate in colour as my pic describes my colour more to u.my hobbies are music,movies,readin n dancin.am very honset,kind,luvly,carin n God fearin man.Dear i will be glad if u can let me be ur friend to know more about u n see what the future holds for us in common.Stars are like friends; there's always some around, you just need to find your favorite one.Dear i will be happy n it will be my heart desire to have u as my forever friend in my world.The value of a special friend cannot be measured only treasured.

Dear i will be happy to have ur reply through my E-mail address.xxxxxxx@yahoo.com

thanx n hope to hear from u baby.takecare

A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out....

I think this one comes from Ghana again. Why did they bring internet to Africa?

When the same people who wrote to easyman list their ethnicity as "african" but their pic is of a caucasian....

When you write to someone how "they own you" and then they look at your profile or go to the forums and see the hundreds of schlock threads you've created in a desperate desire for attention and control, once again substantiating what has been constantly said about you on this website.

Wow - I thought we'd covered ALL the bases on this one, and yet, here I am again, with YET ANOTHER tip:

If you send an email with no message, the recipient will really not be inspired to respond!

.

and don't send a duplicate, like a week later

Also posting a photo of a well-known celebrity is,... well, it's just stupid. At least pick a handsome well-known celebrity, "lonlyman001."

Duh.

(He picked Brett Ratner, lol. Compare to http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0711840/mediaindex)

if your name is nastytalk4u and you write "Hey sexy you are cute and I might add a hot smokin body OUCH! Mark **** play with me? KISS"

-like seriously wtf?

There's no sense emailing a bazillion winks in a row.

They're not kisses, you know! I'm just going to think you have a nervous twitch.

"...I'm just going to think you have a nervous twitch." Lol Lisa.

Lisa you know you love all the attention you get on this sight,as do most gils,if you really don't like it and you want to just be here for the forums like you say,then take down your pics,you do that- guess what? no more winks for you! Don't you think you should? or are you still looking? Have a good day!

Lisa: Your are so beautiful we must meet exchange numbers, emails and then meet in person

I got one I got one I got one

am Cristobaldhead from the state of missery am looking for gentleman older and caring for me, for I want to start the gay family. I never lie or cheat and I wear yellow the yellow for I look like the bumble bee and gilligan with the hat. I'm serious I come to this site to meet man of my dreams for the gay marriage please no GAMES! I look for similar man with no life who is Virgin.

Hello my name is Cimmoron, I look for superior man who live in Missery, one day I meet the man of my dreams to start the gay family for I am 107. I want man who like older man for love and gay marriage and to ram my ass every night. I see profile of Cristobaldhead and he smile when he see me, this is man I will love and marry, please find me at my private email Cimmsuckacock@yahoo.com

im5 - do't keep pumping this girl up ,her head is so big now she can't it threw the door way,and her feet don't touch the ground either!! LOL

Apparently, Purewater's head has shriveled so rapidly, he disappeared.

Good, anyone who picks on Lisa deserves to.

He was picking on Lisa?!? Off with his head!!

"iamvika965, there's vika342"

I like the Ukranian girls and coincidentially, the largest collection of Ukranians is right in Philly.

keerok, would you check your TV stations and see if you are getting MiND TV?

Its stands for media independance. If can create a five mintue video of anything worth sharing and keep your intellecual property rights to it.

Lotsa good music and discussions. Also, there's mindtv.org. Search out Jose Gonzales....fantastic aqoustic guitar player.

Don't seem to have it on the cable lineup here, but I'm looking at mindtv.org right now...

oh ok, all the video on the left hand side is being aired today. on tv.

Look at you guys standing up for Lisa,LOL Shop thruth hurts at times,Lisa's a big girl she can speak for herself.

Lisa's a big girl????

according to her profile, she's only 5'6" (that's about average)

You keep following me around and I might begin to think you like me,hey you want to go to church cristo?

nope - you're too much of a girlie-man for me

The one who always talks about it is the one it is, oh thats you Cristobald. Your gay

Crispo you need to stop sending those winks you know man,like, you think by sending all those winks in a row will make me responed to you? come on- there not kisses you know! Gee I spend most of my time hitting the delete button,and stop sending me your email,don't you know thats a big red Flag,or is that a big red fag. at least take your hat off when you come to my door,have a respect.

I just came out od chat and Shopstar talks all his smack out here and he showed he is a retard and a coward, all he said to me was i5 and nothing else, you piece of crap coward never say anything about me again!

Clear: Come to chat man

***"I just came out od chat and Shopstar talks all his smack out here and he showed he is a retard and a coward, all he said to me was i5 and nothing else,"***

That's because "i5" was probably the only part of what he said you actually understood Kwame, you fugly, illiterate, homophobic, cowardly ass backwoods piece of shit.

Would you like to buy an adjective?

"I"m a "m"oron, Spineless, do you need a map to Plano? Someone to read it for You? Show up or shut up stupid! Now you want to trash the chat rooms too? Coward! You won't show up or shut up, will you boy?

cleargirl - PLEASE go to chat, im5 is a'skeert to be in there alone, lol

sorry can't got to chat for about another 15 days, I'm sitting in this mansion on a hill, all that is here is this pc and it needs a down load and I'm not going to do it,the comput is not mine,is that all you got crispo

hmmm..'mansion on a hill'...needs to 'download' a public site, can't go to chat for 'about another 15 days' AND the computer is not his. Rehab? Jail? Religious retreat and he's 'cheating'??

no ,just the truth,I know thats hard for you to comprehend,you proved that.

LOL

poor lad - hit the casinos again

life as a degenerate gambler is TOUGH!

hey fric and crispo you guys can go to Miss's thread and say something nice about me or you can go to my thread and say some mean!! choices!! I know don't let it throw you! we are pumping up Lisa 's thread here

so everyone posts here in HER thread and no one is posting in yours

go 'figger......

(shouldn't be TOO hard to figure that one out, lol)

You will follow me any where I go,go back and read my first post to her,and now you are here cus of me!!LOL

ummmmmm yeah, I joined 7 years ago because I just KNEW you'd join last month...

(your logic is as rational as your judgemental beliefs)

but....... we all know you here from a few months ago when you were using yet ANOTHER profile for yet another purpose...

go back to your lonely thread dude and stop whining like a virgin on prom-night

Hey you sonofbitch you wouldn't know anything about a virgin or any other thing concerning a woman you baldhaead fag

= from your 'TIME TO GROW UP' thread =

imsexy5 (this topic's creator)

12/16/2008 7:39:35 AM

Posts: 512

Member since 6/10/2008 10:27:27 PM

Yes I will do it

----------------

well??

Holy ugly scene, Batman! What happened here? This is supposed to just be a funny forum about poor judgment choices when trying to contact a fellow mingler. And, fortunately, there's a wealth of material, natch, lol.

"her head is so big now she can't it threw the door way,and her feet don't touch the ground either!!" --Pure/clear/singular or plural water(s), I wonder what would cause you to make such a comment? Ask any of the minglers who've met me in person if I'm self-absorbed or conceited or inconsiderate in any way.

But you just go ahead & believe whatever you want to believe, Sybil.

Sybil, he's scared of the snake, lol

It is because you mock and be little the guys who have atempted to get you to go out with them, maybe you didn't see you were doing that and that was not your intend ,but you did,you are laughing at these guys! not with them.and not only that you got some other woman doing the same thing,man thats sad and they really should feel thankful they even got any attention at all!! Some of the guys that flirted with you might have read this thread,you could of really hurt some one. And I'm only looking at what you have said in this thread, Really if you don't like the winks why don't you take your pic down,you say your not looking so why do you want your pic up?

Geesh, Clear... Lisa is one of the nicest peeps you will meet around here. Your post sounds like she should be ashamed of her looks and her humor.

Kudos Lisa!

Clear you really need to get to know people instead of judging blindly.

I feel so mocked and jilted by Lisa.......she never answered my emails.......Oh, woe is me........Wait.....did I ever send an email?? Ah shit.......I forgot to push send.....

Well....I'll just post it here....poetry gets em everytime.......

Lisa,

I looked at your profile and liked what I saw......we should get together....we'd have a ball...

With horses, cars and snakes galore......life with you would never be a bore.....

The End

Oh......you can get ahold of me many different ways.......but, you should check with my fiance' first....she's understanding, but just likes to be kept in the loop.....

Until then......keep that positive aura.......

Oh....and your structure ain't bad......LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OMG Robbie, she is going to love that!

I know how to wooooooo em......LOL

No way... you, woo?

I say you need flirting lessons

Violets are blue and roses are red.......I'll put you in a shack and always keep you fed......

What more could a woman want....right there is security by Gosh.....

Lisa is the kindest person I know here!

And even though her profile says...."I'm not looking for a date".......That's woman talk for come and get me boys......I know.....

I can win her over....just give me time and enough poetry......Hell....it worked for Cap't........LOL

Yup, that would count as wooing (yup, got me that's fer sure!)

Here I am home with the Nyquil, you spueing poetry and Andy calling from the road to make sure I need a spanking...

What more could a girl ask for? Oh and he will be running real late today... Dinner is at midnight...

I need a nap...

star why do you say ashamed of her looks? If she takes her pic down no more winks for her,thus no more head acks of pushing the delete button,but she won't because she likes all the atention,in this case her humor is hurting other people,and now the couple what to mock, They make themselfs appear to be swingers and they think she might be to!Even tho I know they are just kissing her butt. Star I'm not judging,just reading the post and makeing comments.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, Nyquil.......just make sure you brush your teeth right before taking a healthy dose.....pretty much makes ya forget what ails ya.......LOL

And the weather has us held down on work today, so.....I'm in the poetry mode....don't know how I do it......it just comes to me.......

Spanking at midnight......lol......lookin for a pardon??

Yes, or someone else he can torture...

Did I tell you he wants a dungeon at the new house? His Christmas list reads:

Iron Maiden

Rack

Shackles

Plywood

6" spikes (10#s)

Rope

Electric Prod

HELP!

LOL.......I saw the perfect room for that when I was looking online....A true cop he is.......LOL

Well I wanted you to realize that a spanking is the lest of my worries!

wondering what is the "rack" ,in that list...

LOL.......least of your worries....hehehe

Roses are red and Santa has Claus,

Lisa says Clear: to yourself keep your paws.

Swamp wants a rack, Kirk is in the sack,

not having sex, but napping, oh heck.

Adventureman is polite, nobody here is trite,

And at the end, guess what we got? The conclusion:

A poet, I am not.

Kee: But you have potential.

Swamp: The rack in question is NOT on a woman's body, it is a tool used to stretch a person out.

Robbie: I forgot a holding 100 gal tank for water

o just a little dating advice

Robbie:

Andy says he will share his new toys with you. I will be out of the counrty during your visit.

LOL......well....I guess it would have to be a surprise visit then....

Oh no!

Thank you, Star, but I think I better take a little more time on the next one!

Kee......between the two of us......we got it!!! LOL

YW! Practice makes perfect (ask Robbie)

Never mind, he beat you to it!

Hehehehe.........

Lisa,

You're a dream......your smiles do beam,

Your dimples are deep,

Please don't think I'm creep......

Kee, you can use that one free of charge......

"I'm a creep".......damn....all this talent ruined by a simple "a"

"Ways To Make Sure You WON'T Get A Response To Your Mingles Email"

Easy! just say that you come from Sweden.

Kee......I'd email that one right away, before she comes in here and see's that you're not the real author........women are funny about that stuff......lol

Robbie! Behave, no getting Kee in trouble!

Stetor, I thought Sweden had all the good stuff. Beautiful women, hottubs, nice getaways?

Hahahaha!!

That reminds me of a skit I saw in mad magazine about 40 years ago...

A young man is having trouble with the ladies so his dad gives him a pep talk:

Think postive son! *the young man stands up straight*

The woman are many!! *he looks up brightly*

They surround you!! *he puffs out his chest*

So what if they think you're a creep? *he deflates*

sent.

Hehehehe!!

"Robbie! Behave, no getting Kee in trouble!"

Hell......I thought that was my best work to date......lol.....and since Kee is such a good guy, thought I'd help him out......hehehehe

Until she reads this!

Well.........by then she'll be smitten......how could she not be with poetry like that.......

I think I will get her a paddle for Christmas...

She's gonna kick both our butts, probably. *laughing!!* But it's such good fun!!

I don't need much help getting in trouble, but thank you!!

LOL.........ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Kee......a paddle.......now you're gonna have some fun......hehehe...

See....this is what guys in committed relationships do...help out the single guys and live vicariously through them.....much safer way to go for sure........LOL

I already set up a ticket and pocorn stand so people can watch!

Save me a seat so I can admire my work........LOL

I do hope she returns and this was not all for naught.......

Star.

Yes, there is everything, but a bit boring!

I feel a nap coming on... sorry, but my get up and go, got up and went LOL

Oh, she'll be back. Don't give her the paddle today, please. ROFL!! I'm laughing so hard I can't type!!

Stet.....are you German or American living abroad??

I did put a "Do not open until 12/25" sticker on it, but... will she or wont she?

Only her hairdresser and panties know for sure........

Oh damn.....that's "is she or isn't she"?? All that poetry musta worn me out......

oopxs, sorry Stet, I had thought you were from Sweden... figures (spanks the nyquil bottle) teach me not to recheck before posting!

Um Robbie, are you using me to break the 20K posts mark before anyone else?

LOL.......no, not really....but it does appear that we both have some time on our hands today doesn't it.......

I think I'm going to go take a nap, too. *read: run away for a while*

Oh yes, and I read your posts to Andy during his check on her calls...

Juvi case, so Christmas plans are up in the air. You know how it is, everything is up in the air when a child is in need of protection.

A nap....a novel idea ole chap......think I might entertain that thought myself......

Nap or finish watching Harry Potter... decisions, decisions!

I remember well Star.....but, doing the right thing is always the right thing......it's life we've chosen.....

Just wait until retirement......."the room" should be finished by then......lol

ya ,talk about flooding the forums,whats this got to do with dateing, and ME and Sbyil, here let me turn the light on for you guys.

Robbi.

I'm a Swede living in Germany.

LOL, nothing like having Vitamin water in your mouth and then reading this!

Did I tell you he wants a tunnel to the pond, you know "feed the fishies..."

Was wondering Stet.......your language almost seems American the way you write.....Welcome aboard the Crazy Train........

LOL......that's a pretty good plan....especially living out in the woods the way do......

"the way ya'll do".....geesh......definitely nap time.....

I bet he added cement mixer to the list...

he should........

Robbi.

Thank you

Clearwater is good for the soul,drink freely,just come to the Clearwaters, (:-}

Hmmmm, maybe we (I) did scare the dickens out of her, after all... Ah!! I didn't correct the typo, that must be it!! Well, probably not, after, on second (and third and fourth) thought. What gets into me... must be all that coffee. *laughing!!*

LOL.......well Kee.....on the list of least scariest minglers.......I'm sure we're somewhere near the top......LOL......

True statement, there!

I'm sure she's just busy... or enjoying watching me squirm!

LOL......and you do it so well......

Bump

By Golly, she's been here......I can see her footprints, but, she must have snuck back out.......all that poetry wasted......LOL

*Laughing!!* I was thinking she got it and did not approve, but that's not the case.

The body of the message *the poem* didn't make it, although it's in my sent box intact ???.

Fire it up and resend......it's your only chance I tell ya.......

I'm thinking if anyone scared her......I musta been Star.........LOL

Hey she and I emailed eachother...

I did warn her though...

I'm doomed, I tell ya. YOU send it to her, Robbi! Yeah, that's the ticket.

I didn't warn her about the poem, just that she had to read this thread!

You all are SOOOOOOOO off-topic.

I'm a-tellin Cimm.

*

But ha, ha! Thank you, Robbi, for the, umm, marginal poem! And Kee decided it was so nice, I should see it twice!

You crazies have a great weekend & lovely holidays.

Cimm can't do anything about it. A moose locked him up in the rumble seat.

*is pleased to note she was talking to the boys*

Marginal?????? Shucks!!!!

If Cimm says anything.......we'll send HW to pack his next parachute........

Don't worry about the chute. Look what I'm taking him up in.

LOL........Good Show.......

Todays email I think is the best one I have gotten to date..It was addressed Dear Priceless....ROFLAMO!!!!

OMG, you're a mastercard commercial????

Appears to me that she's still got all her parts and they are all still in the right places........

^To take a phrase from Clearwaters, Amen!

It's good to see them headlights.

Great Minds think alike. But then- Many Men with a one track mind make for predictable banter. H_W, we gotta raise the bar here.

Unfortunately, while the headlights were great, nobody ever thought of the derriere, which was sure to ooze just as much class. Men: Out of sight, out of mind.

As long as Lisa isn't as old as your Model T, I suppose there will be comments variegated about the classic shape of that....

car.

without any more ado, say you want to go straight to e-mail though a yahoo address (which can't be traced)

well unless i have met the person in the chat i just delete all male emails and winks.... simple

the best way to get no response from me is to make sexual comments .... tacky really tacky

*Ways To Make Sure You WON'T Get A Response To Your Mingles Email:*

Write one!

If you write to bl8ant. Oooh yeah. But we have one thing in common. I would also delete all male winks. Fo'' sure.

"would" or "DO," Gith?

lol

Would. Don't get any male winks thank god. So. All future chat shall be through the chatrooms. Which can be dodgy in my experience. After all I was lurking in the forums for most of a year with but an e mail to tide me over....

Dunno if I like the New look Mingles very much. No e mail.... Oh dear.

Scratch comments about e mail feature. Still works....