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I added this topic to see if you think what you put in your profile means anything. I am brutally honest and yet get messages from people in my inbox that do not apply to my search crteria nor does it pertain to there search criteria. I mean if you are looking for skinny athletic female between the age of 20-30 why,oh why in the he** would you propose a desire for a tub of lard thats older than dirt. If you don't know what you put on your page you can't handle a real relationship anyway. I just wanna know what cha think yall.

You will find out people do not read the profiles. I do my best to read them. Many just seem to not bother. I guess it's easier to wink or email than to read the profile.

If you want to make friends or find a relationship, sure a real pic and an honest profile is the way to go.

About the bs in the inboxes... scammers abound, chalk anything inappropriate up to that, and block them. They just want your money or email addy, and aren't reading your profile.

Too, If something/someone sounds too good to be true...they are.

I am a new member and have been attacked by the spammers also.But honesty and integrity should win out every time as far as what you put on your profile.

Likely spammers in this case and others.

I do read people's profiles but may contact them even if I don't fall into what they are looking for. The main reason is I sometimes some on will put they only want to date someone within a 20-mile span. I maybe live 30 miles. I'll push to see if they are interested. Some with mine. I've had bad experiences with certain religions so I don't list them on what I'm looking for. I see it as a preference but not a hard and fast rule.

Depends on what you're looking for (or, in other words, what you joined this site for)....

Lisa is correct. But it does help if you "truly" know what you want.

I'm not certain why anyone really joins sites like these. I initially joined an area AO-Hell group and some of the members would meet up for get togethers. Being the dancing fool that I am I went to a few meets. I got my "dancing fix" in, but there were very few folks close to my age. And most of the ones that did show at these things were content to sit, drink and watch everyone else (with the hopes of digging dirt to spread around the chat room). Of course there were those that went in the hopes that they might "get lucky", too.

It used to be amusing to me that some couldn't wait to get back online, even at 1 am or later to report on the happenings.

Others here probably ran a similar course before going national with Mingles and other sites. Bottom line is they're all pretty much the same.

My profile is fairly idiodic right now since I've pretty much thrown in the towel with any online thing. For some it can work, but I think I stand a better chance trying to meet folks locally. I ended a LTR earlier this year since the distance just compounded other issues with the Lady. She's a great person but she's going through things that I can't help with and if I did try to help, would just make things worse for her.

My pic is my pic. At least I have about 140 Minglers that can vouch for that (Damn!)

Now.... should I hire Lisa to do the copy-editing of my life in Mingles? LOL

yall are wonderfull thanks for your input. I am a non paticipating person. I don't go out, have been single for 18 years. I don't date because I don't have anyone to date. I wouldn't know how if I did LOL!. I was just shocked by the emails of some I received. after reading your responses in the other topics thought I would get the advice from the ones who seem to know. I joined Mingles for Mobsters on myspace it gives you godfather points if you join so thats how I got here. I get a laugh and enjoy the forums. I don't expect anyone even lives close enough for me to ever attend any parties or get togethers but its some sort of human contact and thats OK. I thought I would unsub once I got my mob points, but I kind of like it here for now. My profile is me and my picture is me two years ago at my moms 70th birthday party. I don't do pictures. Rollo your picture reminds me of My favorite Martian.I love it. Again thanks for your words see ya online,bus

I think a REAL and RECENT picture can save ya alot of uncomfortable situations and maybe emotional pain if you are sensitive about rejection as well as getting more responses. I read the profiles too but Kova said, I may respond anywway if it's a close thing and I really like the lady's profile. My two cents ( but may not be worth one)

I think profiles are important because I sure as h.... Dont want to communicate with someone who likes all the things I have no interest in.I will only post a photo when I am ready.

hey bus377 think of yourself as a gorgeous curvy woman and smile at everyone -project confidence even if you dont feel confidence - it may not get you George Clooney but it works for me.

I don't quite understand why some men say that a woman's weight is not important to them they are just looking for a good woman. But yet once they see my picture they aren't interested because of my size... Can any men explain this one to me?

I can explain it, Chicago...they lie, lol! And truth of the matter is, if they go completely on looks, you don't really want someone who's that way- of course, I totally believe in chemistry, but a person doesn't have to be a "10" to have chemistry with others!

As for you, bus..lol..I think you are being far too hard on yourself! What you should do, is start looking around and emailing the ones YOU'RE interested in!

If a guy is only interested in how your body looks, he isn't worth knowing.

Frankly, the picture is very important. No matter how great the profile is, if you are not attracted to the person visually/physically, the relationship is doomed.

Of course, this goes on the assumption you're on a singles site to look for someone to date and more. That said, no matter how pretty the picture, I always read the profile as well. That's where you find out if it's a scammer or they're a bit nutty or incompatable. It's too bad I'm discovering how many people here on a singles site have little to no interest in dating.

...or maybe it's my breath? Profile? Picture?

I thought this was a "mingles" site. For everyone, not just a singles dateing site. It amazes me the matches they send to my email and the emails I get from ?????, do they not read "married" on the profile page? Not just from scammers either. Having said that, I think your profile and pic are important. People want to put a face to someone they are communicating with. And in chat, I get "hey you look young for 107" quick. They checked the profile. I do the same. It can be bs, but at least if truthful, its a start for whatever. Eliminates the need for the first 20 questions so to to speak. And as Mlady ( of "Ask Pam" convinced me, a cam helps establish trust, in that your the same person as shown on your profile. Even if you just use it on occasion.

Thanks for all the input. I consider myself somewhat attractive and if someone would take the time to get to know me they would see I am a good person. So what if there is no chemistry we can still be friends. I guess Mysticct is right, if they are only interested in my body they aren't worth knowing. I even had a guy offer to "try me out". Wanted to meet for a drink and then if HE was interested he would get a room, he could fit me in on a certain day. He actually schedulded women... I asked him how that was working out for him because he obviously only wanted a lot of one night stands and the possibilty of catching something.

Sorry for the venting.

How long does it take for your pic to so up it seem it takes 4 ever LOL

M_racer I agree I added my pic about a week ago it still says waiting for approval. Wonder who is the approval committee