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I have a clearly visible physical disability and this makes it difficult for me to find a soulmate. But why is it a problem? Do women really want a stable relationship? If you live in an European city and frequently use public transportation you may sometimes have seen some strange couple. A man, wearing dirty clothes and uncombed hair holding an open bottle of beer in his hand and on his side a beautiful woman. Sometimes the man is shouting st the woman? I'm wondering why these guys find a wife while fat or disabled men don't?

I also noticed that this only applies to "Western" women. I have contacted a lot of women from other cultures and I think they don't have any problems with my disability. Several attempts to start a relationship have failed but for other reasons.

If a woman is with a jerk, my best guess is she has some sort of self esteem issue. If you love yourself, you would not let someone who supposedly loves you, treat you that way. If you dont care about yourself, how do you expect others too? Just one womans opinion....

My guess is that women are kinda scared off by "nice guys" because being nice is often misinterpreted as being desperate. Nobody (male or female) likes a mate who seems desperate. I have noticed that those I show absolutely no interest in happen to be more interested in me than anyone I show even the slightest bit of interest in. My advice? Be cool, but dont be a "Yes man". Dont be afraid to tell a woman "No" if thats what you mean.

As for why so many women are attracted to jerks, I dunno.... I guess they find it kinda challenging at first but then after a while, they get too intimidated to leave, even if they are sick and tired of it.

My guess is that women are kinda scared off by "nice guys" because being nice is often misinterpreted as being desperate. Nobody (male or female) likes a mate who seems desperate. I have noticed that those I show absolutely no interest in happen to be more interested in me than anyone I show even the slightest bit of interest in. My advice? Be cool, but dont be a "Yes man". Dont be afraid to tell a woman "No" if thats what you mean.

As for why so many women are attracted to jerks, I dunno.... I guess they find it kinda challenging at first but then after a while, they get too intimidated to leave, even if they are sick and tired of it.

Because jerks are good at manipulating people, for the most part, and getting you off-balance---the nice thing about it, is once you're out of the situation for a while, you have a tendency to see them for the rat bastages they are..

Been there, done that, have quite a few t-shirts- LOL

you hit that right on the nail Mostie!!!

If women didn't like jerks......I'd be lonely......

The passive action of a woman "falling for a jerk" because he's manipulating...I would argue the aggressive action: going out with a jerk (besides it being "exciting" is because some women believe they can change the guy. Getting into a relationship just to change the other person is just as wrong a reason to get into a relationship because of loneliness.

Ah yes, I recently was in a "relationship" where I may have come off desperate because of how I acted but that was far from the truth. I was brought up old fashioned with the ideals and morals to do things because I want to rather than obligated to. I do it because my heart tells me to. They are spontaneous things of passion and caring that I don't plan to do but they just happen because I think of them and just lose control of myself (in a good way).

I do Things like opening doors, romantic notes, roses, and seating her. It is how I was raised and its the person I am and the person I like to be. Sure I live my life like a fairytale with the conviction and a heart of gold but that is just who I am. Alas though I believe she thought I was desperate or it was just too much at once for her because she's never been treated like that and its such a shame no one ever has treated her like that because everyone deserves to be.

That's my two cents.

I think that this question is often asked by women as well with a little different twist. Such as "why are guys attracted to tramps"?

I suspect the answers are less cerebral and much more based in basic instinct and attraction because if it were based in the least on thought and good sense many people wouldn't make the choices they do.

There actually is a good body of research on the science of attraction. Many studies can be looked up online and prove interesting.

All I can say Stefan is that you should persist in looking for a soulmate if thats your desire. I believe you will succeed.

I have NO clear physical dis-abilities and i have a difficult time meeting my soulmate.

Why is that a problem!

its a problem because i make it a problem!

Geeez toyman... you mean you haven't met your soulmate in the chatroom? What a way to break the news to everyone... I think you might be making another problem for yourself with the news flash! LOL

Stefan3,

I have met a few folks with disabilites that are visual. It didn't stop them from letting their personality and character become so strong and fun that others enjoyed them, and wanted to be around them, and fall in love with them, and married them.

As far as why do beautiful women stay with jerks or vice versa... so many reasons that are individual to each situation. Seeing someone in a mall or social setting doesn't tell the whole story either. We see what we want to see... rarely, if ever, do we "see" the true story of anyone's situation.