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OK, I recently got to finally meet someone from here that I've known for a couple of years. First off, I had a blast. What an amazing person she is.

But something came up that made me wonder. Who picks up the tab at the restaurant? I was raised that it is the gentlemanly thing to do for the man to pick up the tab (unless it is arranged in advance and both parties agree on it for the lady to pick up the tab). Mind you, this is not a rant or a slam. I know I was raised in the south and I was up north when this happened. Is there a difference?

It was funny when the waiter threw the ticket on the table and said "you two can fight over it" haha (the black eye she gave me is starting to go away)

What say y'all?

pics = picks (rolls eyes)

Hey Bub...

My opinion...the man does especially if he was the one who initiated the meet...I don't know how the lunch meet was discussed in this case before hand. Having said that though...if she puts up abit of a fight and wants to pay or pay half...let her...some women want to.

"...if she puts up abit of a fight and wants to pay or pay half...let her...some women want to."

Very good observation NewU. Perhaps the gentlemanly thing to have done is to have surrendered?

If I want to see the girl again I insist on paying the tab, and I explain that if she desires, she can pay next time. This can help ensure there IS a next time.

If I have no interest in seeing her again, or she is simply a 'friend', I'll either split the tab or allow her to pay.

I am old fashioned - if the guy wants the booty, the guy lays out the red carpet.

(Oh yeah, I forgot, but it kind of goes without saying, if I've already slammed it a few times she can start paying her own way from then on. )

Consistant^^^^^---and normal male-----LMAO

After a night or two with any of us guys a chick would be dying to pay her own way just to spend another night, right?

HA...!

(P.S. Bubba - this sounds like perfect "Dear Pamela" question to me.)

The guy pays, no matter what.

(Unless of course, hypothetically speaking, the guy reserves a rental car after flying across the country to meet her, finds the car has not been saved for him, the place is all out of cars, and has to spend all his money taking different forms of transportation all the way from say...LA to Fresno, for instance)

LOL Cap. Would that "hypothetical" have any basis in experience?

Personally, I think if the guy does the invite, its his tab. If its a first or even second date, it should still be his tab. After that, the tab should belong to whomever did the inviting, unless agreed beforehand.

Bubba...there was a thread by this same name a couple of weeks ago started by a woman who was uncomfortable letting men pay her tab,you ought to check it out,...though she deleted the initial context she set for the thread....the input of others is still there.its in the dating questions and advice section

i dont think its so much a north south thing,though thats part of it,because kansas is not a southern state though people on here call it one,lol...i think its more an urban vs. rural thing...rural people tend to be more conservative,traditional,etc.,while urban people tend to play out of a new politically correct rule book made up by who i dont know,with exceptions of course.

so rural men have a tendency to be more chivalrous towards women because its part of our religion ,upbringing and just the way things are,tried and true.

i guess my only experience with women paying on dates,was when they were carrying my wallet in their purse,or handling my checkbook for me...ive never seen a waiter or waitress hand the bill to a woman though...theyd hand it to me everytime.

i think eventually people will get tired of all the mess of new politicly correct alternative ways and return to the tried and true traditional ways,that maybe all those who have gone before werent so stupid and backwards after all

p.s. i hope the date went well

What's a date?

I've always appreciated the man picking up the tab on a first outing. Though if she hasn't thought of it, she could offer to pay the tip. Or you can suggest that she pay the tip. This way she can feel she contributed something to the cost. After the first, then it's what's agreed upon. You can swap the arrangements for 'even-ness' sake on subsequent outings.

Hmmmm... interesting conundrum you found yourself in, Bubs. Whatever did you do???

And, what if the gentleman had driven 300 (yes, that's THREE HUNDRED) miles to meet this person, waited two hours in HER hometown for her arrival at the agreed-upon meeting place (even though there was no preset meeting time), drove her home so that she could change outfits, patiently and kindly assisted her with her temporary disability through a big-city go-see, and then generously treated her to a fabulous dinner at which she did not even flinch when the bill came? Wouldn't it be the proper thing to do for her to buy the guy a black-raspberry carbonated water (or whatever that was) and treat HIM to breakfast the next morning before he set off on his 300-mile trip back home?

Just a hypothetical from a good, solid, corn-fed, fun-loving, down-to-earth, up-for-anything, Chicago-style midwestern girl.

Oh and Bubs, thanks for the spelling correction and the eye roll. haha. Although I know why you were thinking "pics."

Lisa,

It sounds like that was a heck of a trip. But I think he would have crawled over 300 miles of broken glass. Just a hunch.

And yes, I think the carbonated water and waffle would have been appropriate.

P.S. Had pics on the brain

I love being treated to a nice dinner and at the same time, I know that he would also appreciate that as well and I keep that in mind and treat him as well...

The dude pays.......but, the next morning's breakfast as a thank you is a nice touch and thought by the woman......Sounds like a great time.......

Girls... I'll spring for dinner if I get to eat you for dessert.

"Gosh... that tck is forward.... I bet he gets slapped alot." (Someone finish this for me...)

You probably eat alone a lot, right?

Personally, I prefer a second date to be dinner at my place. I know my way around the kitchen very well. And if I play my cards right, the next meal I'll be preparing for her will be breakfast.

And......"I bet he gets a lot of dessert too!" How's that?

Babe Ruth was the strikeout king. But he sure hit a lot of homeruns getting there!

Ha!

Shop, you have a good way of making a point

I think most of us would be surprised at the true success rate of Mingles, lol. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Well, my meeting with her was a true success. I got to meet a truly fantastic person. Had a great time as well.

Looks up at TCK.. I am sure a slap would not stop you and besides that you would consider that part of the fun I am sure. The slap would be the green light for ya..LOL

I'm a southerner too...i might not get all of the 'tells of a southerner' right from time to time, but if there was ever one thing I have always done in dating women (at least for the first date) is treat them to the meal...but since i'm not a very picky eater, i let her choose...lol it actually gets interesting when you have a finiky eater scared she might cost too much...lmao...but chivalry is certainly not dead!

Glad to hear of you had a good evening Bubba.

Crane, I like your last statement. And I agree

I think its so tacky when the lady has to pay... Once your in a solid relationship its kind of different then because you might be sharing money or buying eachother things. Def. in the begining tho the man should pay

I'd hazard a guess to say that no one HAS to do anything, including dining out. But isn't it great when someone WANTS to do something nice for someone?

It is indeed... I am looking forward to meeting you in Vegas Lisa!

eat the bill and run out? lol

Lisa, that was well said.

Flower she's a nifty lady and I am sure y'all will have a blast as well.

LOL, C4. I dined and dashed once by accident. I was with a big group of people and we were all busy chatting and joking as we left. Simply forgot to pay the bill. I was afraid to go back into the place to square up for about a month.

But I've never tried eating the bill. Does it work?

I wouldn't suggest eating the bill, a maitre d' with control issues may linger around the men's room computing interest as he waits for you to expel the food.

Lisa, I don't think what you said would constitue you to 'hazard a guess'...lol...but my take on that would be, if a man took a woman out to dinner, it wouldn't be because we felt we HAD to, but because we WANTED to....well, that would be my case, anyway, and I think Bubba and the other fellas would agree on that...in retrospect, the only time I think a guy would actually feel he HAD to treat a lady to something is if either the lady was 'nagging' (stronger word but you get the drift) or if the guy felt as if he HAD to do something to make her happy...in which case I think we all would agree sentiments as weak as those generally only happen in relationships that DON'T work out...

I hope i'm out of the army soon enough to join you all in Vegas...as grounded as i am with things in my life, it would be nice to get away from here for a few days, travel the country side and have a blast with some of my favorite minglers!

Crane, I hope to meet you in Vegas. I'm sure it will be a blast. But who will pick up the tab? hahaha

Cal.. Good save on the "SOME of my favorite minglers" GOOOOOOD SAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!

LOL!!!

OK, sorry everyone, keep posting now.

Crane, you're right: it wasn't a guess, lol. & It'd be great to meet you in LV! * * *

Me too, Flower! * * * Thanks Bubs * * * Ron, did you actually go back & pay the bill? * * *

Cap'n - Weird Al and I disagree with not eating the bill:

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it -- Get yourself an egg and beat it!

Have some more chicken, have some more pie; It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried,

Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it -- Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it, ooh!

NOTE...

If the chick is homeless, offer to pay the entire bill.

(Convenience factor: after the date is over, homeless chicks don't care where you drop them off.)

lol...that's true Lisa, but the last time Weird Al tried it, customers saw the maitre d' follow him into the restroom and overheard the following:

Maitre D': "You better hope that receipt comes out soon, or you're gonna be tossed straight outta Lynwood!"

Weird Al: "Ooh, here it comes now. Wow....Smells like Nirvana in here."

Maitre D': "Damn boy, I see the receipt, but it looks burned!"

Weird AL: "I've lived long enough to have learned

The longer it stays in the toaster, the more it gets burned

But that can't happen to us

Because it's always been a matter of crust"

Maitre D': "I can't watch this. Yeah... I can't watch this

I told you... can't watch this

Too hip, can't watch this

Get me outta here... can't watch this"

Hmmm...ok, maybe it DID work, lol

Yes, Lisa, I did go back and pay the bill.

And because I not only squared it up but made sure that my tip went to the right waitress, I actually wound up dating that waitress!

She got more than just the 'tip' then, huh?

hehe. . . now that would be telling.

I think it s a nice gesture and says a lot about the guy if he does it on the first date, especially if he is the one who initiated the date. But it deppends on a lot of things. Its just a nice thing to do.

Missme7... love the pink bathing suit, hon.

I'm buying, my treat.

I thought they stopped making Tab, years ago.

Yo mysticct, whazzzuppp???

LOL mystic!

And tck - THIS time, right? THIS time.